Torture Days
by Snow Cover
Summary: Kondo feels that Hijikata and Okita’s recent fights have caused inconvenient consequences, so the two are punished Death Note style. Hijikata and Okita must overcome this torture and defeat the troublesome chain that binds their wrists. HxO
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, which belongs to the ingenious Hideaki Sorachi. I am simply writing a fan fiction.

Title: Torture Days

Summary: Kondo feels that Hijikata and Okita's recent fights have caused inconvenient consequences, so the two are punished Death Note style. Hijikata and Okita must overcome this torture and defeat the troublesome chain that binds their wrists.

Rating: T

Pairing: Hijikata x Okita. Yes, this is a shounen-ai story.

Chapter 1

Just like people, many animes are connected in some way.

BOOM! The sound of smashing glass and the smell of burning metal are heaven to my senses. Hmm…perhaps Hijikata is blown to smithereens now, and I can replace his position as vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. I can see it now. After everyone finishes mourning Hijikata's "accidental" death, I will further satisfy my sadistic pleasures by aiming a sparkling giant bazooka at—

"Oi, Sougo, just what are you up to now? It's too early in the morning for a ruckus and I needed that vending machine to get a granola bar for my mayonnaise," Hijikata coolly tells me, but even though he is trying to seem nonchalant, I can tell that he's irritated by the cross-like sign on his left eyebrow.

"I only wanted to open the vending machine for Hijikata-san since it seemed that he could not find any yen," I calmly lie to him.

"You brat! We both know that's a lie! I was about to grab my money out of my pocket before you launched that thing!" He points to my precious bazooka and attempts to punch me, but I rapidly dodge his specially made knuckle sandwich before his fist even touches my uniform.

"Toshi! Sougo! What happened to this vending machine?!" Fortunately Kondo-san has come to cease Hijikata's unnecessary rampage.

"Kondo-san! Hijikata-san was bullying me. He even tried to slash me into pieces with his katana, but he slashed the vending machine instead when I dodged his blows," I whine pretending to be the victim. I glance at an infuriated Hijikata, whose jaws appear to be dropped to the ground.

"Toshi! How could you?! Do you know how much that vending machine was?! Forty-five thousand yen!" Kondo seizes Hijikata by the shoulders and shakes him as tears spurt from his eyes.

"But it wasn't me!! It was the King from Planet Sadist and his bazooka! I was only trying to get a snack to eat with my mayo!" Hijikata yells with bursting anger.

Kondo-san stares at me, and I offer him an innocent gaze to detract suspicions. Then, he switches his eyes to Hijikata, whose gaze glowed with determination. Kondo sighs. He doesn't know who to believe. I suddenly hear the birds' chirping with more clarity because of the silence between us. Oh, how I desire to launch my bazooka to silence those birds.

"So how are we going to come up with forty-five thousand yen?" Hijikata chooses to break the awkward silence.

"We could sell Hijikata-san, and we would only have to earn forty-four thousand, nine-hundred ninety-nine yen," I suggest with a stoic demeanor.

"Why you—" Hijikata clenches his fists and prepares to punch me again.

"Hijikata-san, I'm complimenting you," I quickly state before he raises his hand.

"How?" He questions with confusion and indignation.

"Unlike other products of low quality, Hijikata-san has the possibility of being purchased for one yen, albeit that chance is only twenty percent," I explain to him as if this was truly a good thing.

"Sadistic idiot! You can't even tell the difference between a compliment and an insult!" I dodge Hijikata's fists and feet as he continuously attempts to maim me.

"I've got it! We will have Yamazaki win this week's Badminton Tournament! I think the prize is over fifty-thousand yen!" Kondo suddenly remarks from his—huh, I was not expecting this—_deep thinking_.

11:33 A.M.

I feel a throbbing pain on my forehead; I think someone might have attempted to injure my head while I was sleeping. I quickly remove my mask and realize that Hijikata has intruded my slumber again. I avenge myself by kicking the dreamland-disrupting mayonnaise addict. His loud scream of "Brat!" is music to my ears. Ah, the pleasure of torture! Thud. _Crack._ It sounds as if something broke when Hijikata landed on the floor.

"Shit! Yamazaki's racket! What are we going to do?! The tournament is at twelve!" Hijikata anxiously looks around. It seems that he's hoping that another racket will somehow emerge. Or maybe he's looking for a time machine?

"Hijikata-san, whatever happens…," I dramatically begin with my hand on his shoulder. "It's your fault."

"WHAT?!" he exclaims and I dash towards Kondo's room. I slide the door open and kneel on the room's mat.

"I am sorry to interrupt you Kondo-san, but Hijikata-san has damaged Yamazaki's racket," I politely inform him with my eyes on the floor. I can sense Hijikata-san's aura near me. So he has finally reached the room. I take a quick glance at him; it seems that Hijikata is burning with rage.

"That's alright," Kondo assures, "Yamazaki suggested that I get an extra racket just in case something like this happens. Gin, Shinpachi, and Kagura have offered to buy me a racket in exchange for a few yen. Here they come."

The trio enters Kondo's room.

"Here's the racket, Gorilla-san." Boss hands Kondo the racket.

"Thank you, Yamazaki was right. We need this racket since the original one broke," Kondo explains to the Yorozuya. I turn towards Hijikata. His expression says "We need to leave now before Kondo-san punishes us." I silently agree with him and stand up to leave the room.

"Sougo, Toshi, wait, don't leave yet," Kondo commands as he embraces us so tightly that I thought I was being crushed to death by King Kong.

"What is happening to you two?! Your daily fights are causing damage everywhere! Normally, I wouldn't mind, but your routine is burdening the Shinsengumi! We now not only have to earn forty-five thousand yen, but also, you've ruined Yamazaki's favorite racket!" Kondo dramatically cries as he spins around in circles still hugging and unintentionally crushing us.

"Gorilla-san, I have an idea," Kagura suddenly declares causing Hijikata and me to be dropped on the floor from his suffocating arms. All eyes are immediately diverted to China, who is now crouching on the mat wearing a black messy wig, a baggy sweater, and loose blue jeans. And is that eye shadow on her face?

"Kagura-san, why are you wearing those clothes? No…how the hell did you get those clothes?!" Shinpachi questions but we immediately choose to ignore him because we are more interested in Kagura's idea.

"Why don't we chain Hijikata and Sougo together so they can learn about the lesson of teamwork and trust? Sure they would probably fight each other while they're enchained, but Hijikata can watch Sougo and Sougo can watch Hijikata, right?" Kagura proudly offers her revolting idea. "Who knows? They might even be friends just like in that manga. Ne Gin-san?"

"Yes. Here are the handcuffs," Boss hands the heinous metallic object to Kondo, "and here is a black notebook. Courtesy of Gintama and Death Note fans. They bought it from eBay."

"What a fantastic idea! But let's add a little rule. Toshi, Sougo, you are not allowed to use any sort of weapon against each other. Doing so will lengthen the time you are chained to each other." As Kondo chains me to the despicable Hijikata for a lengthy period of irritation and torment, one question remains. It is the one question that will determine if I will at least have a strand of hope during this torture.

"Will the notebook actually kill the people whose names are written on it?" Shinpachi asks _the_ question.

"No."

Not a shred of hope is left.

* * *

Author's notes:

Dear Reader,

If you're reading this note, I'm assuming that you have finished reading the first chapter of my first fan fiction. I hope that I did not damage your eyes and your mind too much. If I did, I'll try to get you one of those glass eyes because I'm too poor to buy a real eye. LOL! That totally sounded odd!

Sincerely,

Snow Cover


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, Death Note, Pinocchio, or Higurashi no naku koro ni.

Chapter 2

When you're wearing handcuffs, you need lotion.

My hand glides across the smooth lined paper as I write one single name: Hijikata Toshiro.

I patiently wait for 40 seconds before I hear the expected screams of pain and anguish. I run to Hijikata to witness the scene that I have been craving since…well, ever since I encountered the mayo indulger.

My victim is clutching his heart, desperately attempting to hold on to his dear life, but his actions are futile. 3…2…1

"Farewell, Hijikata-san. It seems that I won," I whisper to him as he slowly closes his eyes.

A shade of crimson red clouds my vision, and I smile when Hijikata finally stops breathing.

I have prevailed.

"Now, now Sou-chan."

I hear a familiar voice from behind me. Huh? Wait, why is everything getting brighter? I look around and realize that everything is quickly vanishing. I glance at Hijikata and notice that he is disappearing as well. What is happening? Why is everything turning white?

"Sou-chan, do you really want him gone?"

I swiftly turn around while unsheathing my katana, but I immediately drop it when I realize who the source of the voice was. Ane-ue! How is she alive?

"Ane-ue!" I exclaim as I embrace her. She pats my head and gives me a comforting smile with her eyes closed.

"Sou-chan, you never answered my question."

Suddenly, I hear a rumble. My eyes dart to the floor and I realize that it's shaking. An earthquake? I raise my head to question Ane-ue, but she isn't there. Where is she? I frantically look for my sister as everything starts to get dimmer and the earthquake worsens.

"Sougo! Wake up!" A new voice commands me.

Wake up? I'm in a dream?

I sigh and I close my eyes

5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

I open them again.

What a fantastic way to wake up. Mr. Mayo and his cigarette are right in front of my face, and he's shaking the hell out me. I guess it's true that not all dreams can come true. Jiminy Cricket, you liar! I'll send you to Higurashi! Or better yet, where is Rena's hatchet?

"Hijikata-san, are you planning to poison me through second-hand smoke?" I ask him to make him realize that I am awake.

"You lazy sloth! Don't you see this thing?" Hijikata holds up the demonic steel chain.

"Then maybe Hijikata-san should temporarily abandon his cigarettes until we are no longer bound to one another," I retort receiving several strange looks from the people around us. Ah…it seems that we're supposed to be watching the badminton tournament and supporting Yamazaki.

"If you people don't divert your eyes in less than two seconds…," Hijikata venomously begins, but the onlookers quickly return to watching the current match with giant sweat drops behind their heads.

Hijikata stands up and walks away from the badminton court's sidelines, dragging me with him.

"Hijikata-san, where are you going?" I curiously question him.

"To Rofuto."

* * *

At Rofuto...

"Toujo-san, are you here to buy the curtain's "sha" thing?" I ask once Hijikata and I arrive at the store.

Toujo looks at me. _Tick_. Then his eyes trail along the steel chain. _Tock_. His eyes dart to Hijikata. _Tick_. Then he gazes at me once more. _Ding!_

"Ah...I sort of expected this to happen," he says as he rapidly grabs a gothic Lolita dress and offers it to me. "Just in case you wanted him to—"

But before he finishes, Hijikata punches him so hard that he flies off to…well, he's probably back home now. Huh…oh well. Hmm…Hijikata seems to purchasing something at the cashier's counter. Is that nicotine gum?

"I am not committing seppuku just because you can't handle cigarette smoke," Hijikata says when he notices that I was staring at the product. Hijikata seems to be in Vegeta-mode right now. _Do you really want him gone?_ Ane-ue, you have a point.

The cuffs roughly brush along my left wrist, which has become very red. I have the sudden desire to fervently scratch it, but I restrain myself from doing so, knowing that I may damage my skin.

"Hijikata-san, do you mind if we buy some lotion as well?" I receive a strange bewildered look from Hijikata and a smile from the cashier, who hands me two items that would alleviate the irritating itch.

Hijikata and I leave Rofuto with three things: a large packet of nicotine gum, a bottle of lotion, and a free lubricant from the cashier.

"Hijikata-san, why is your face so red?"

* * *

Edit: Changed "Anewe" to "Ane-ue" (Thank you, Yoruko!)

I also forgot to say that "Ane-ue" means "older sister."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Chapter 3

Before you decide to be handcuffed to someone, you have to consider how you will change your attire.

"Hijikata-san, why is your face so red?"

"Sougo, why…" He gulps before he continues, "Why did you need to buy that lotion and why did you accept _that_?" Hijikata points to the lubricant that I'm currently holding with my right hand.

"Ah, Hijikata-san, I have an itch on my wrist because of these handcuffs, so I need both the lotion and the lubricant to heal my wrist and prevent further itching," I explain to him as I apply lotion to my agitated wrist. Then, I rub the edges of the handcuff with some of the lubricant.

"Ah…I see." The scarlet color on his face dissipates. Wait…Hijikata has failed to explain why his face was red as a Shinigami's eyes earlier. Unless…no it can't be. That's disgusting, but then again, it's Hijikata, so it's possible. Sadist mode: _Change._

"Hijikata-san, why was your face so flushed earlier?" I ask while looking for my bazooka. It's in a barrel near the club in which Otae-san works. Hmm…where is it? Aha! There it is! I slowly pace towards the barrel waiting for Hijikata's answer.

"Err…the sun is giving me a little bit of skin rash," Hijikata quietly replies. LIES!

"Hijikata-san, the sun cannot give you a skin rash during the winter. You were having filthy fantasies about Ane-ue, weren't you?" In one swift stroke of my right arm, I take out the bazooka out of the barrel and aim it at Hijikata. I shall avenge you, Ane-ue.

"No, Sougo! That's—"

"Off with your head, Necrophile-san," I mutter before firing at Hijikata.

Unfortunately, I miss, and I accidentally hit Madao…and a taxi he seems to be cleaning…huh, I didn't see him there before. Oh well, he'll probably be happy to be visit the hospital again.

"Toshi! Sougo! What happened now?!"

Hijikata and I turn around and find Kondo, whose face were marked by Otae's punches, emerging from the club.

"Hijikata-san was having wild fantasies about Ane-ue so I felt that it was necessary to punish him," I stoically explain to him.

"Sougo! I was not having any sort of fantasies about her, and you do realize that you've just extended this chaining period, right?!" Hijikata seems to be telling the truth…if he's being honest, then what could possibly have made him flush? Huh…

"Ah, Toshi, thank you for reminding me. Your time together has been extended to twenty-one days or if you prefer to look at it this way...three weeks," he tells us with a wide smile and three fingers up.

Then, Otae-san emerges from the club.

"Huh? You two are an item now? Easy on Sougo now, Hijikata," she gives us a small laugh. It seems that Hijikata has fainted. Oi, author, why are you making Hijikata so out of character today?

* * *

12:43 P.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

"Hijikata-san, wake up, we have to change our clothes," I say to him as I rapidly slap his head.

He groggily stands up and starts removing his Shinsengumi jacket as I look for my favorite kimono. There is a sudden tug on my wrist, and I am pulled towards the mayonnaise addict. Unfortunately, my head lunges towards Hijikata's chest, and he is thrown off balance with his back on the matted floor and my head still on his chest.

"Hijikata-san, are you planning to injure my head?"

"No, I was trying to take off my jacket, but this chain keeps getting in the way," he replies.

"Hijikata-san, why don't we just wait for Kondo-san to come with the key?"

I stand up, but I unfortunately trip on the entangled chain and cause Hijikata to land on top of me. Ow…damn these handcuffs.

"Hijikata-san, please get off of me, you're heavy," I mumble, but before Hijikata moves, Kondo enters the room.

"Toshi! Sougo! Sorry I'm late, it's just so hard to leave Otae-san. Toshi, what are you doing to Sougo? Oh, maybe it's better if I leave now, here are the keys! Careful with Sougo now, Toshi!"

"Kondo-san, I will commit seppuku before I even think of touching this bastard in that way," Hijikata determinedly tells our commander as he unlocks the handcuffs.

"Kondo-san, this chain just caused us to be placed in this very provocative position. I would never let Necrophile-san molest me," I tell Kondo, who seems to feel guilty for thinking…whatever he was thinking…

"Ah, sorry, I just thought…haha…I'll just be going now, make sure to put the handcuffs back on before you sleep. Good night," Kondo scurries away with a giant sweat drop behind his head.

"Sougo, for the last time, I'm not a necrophile. I wasn't thinking about her. It was a skin rash. A SKIN RASH. Now if you don't drop the subject, I'll skin you alive, mince you into tiny pieces, and bury your body parts under this floor," Hijikata-san says as he adjusts his kimono.

"Ne, Hijikata-san, won't you be consumed by guilt and eventually confess your crime if you do that?" I question as I take off my uniform and grab my kimono. I glance at the silent Hijikata-san, who seems to look very pale. That's unusual.

"Hijikata-san, time to relock the handcuffs," I wave my hand in front of his eyes after I finish putting on my kimono. He blinks, and he quickly locks the handcuffs.

"Goodnight," he mumbles as he puts his blanket above his head.

Hijikata is so out of character today.

* * *

Dear Reader,

If you're reading this note, I'm thinking that you have read all three chapters so far. I must commend you for your patience and kindness. Thank you!

On a side note, I feel really uneasy with the way I have written this story so far. Is this common for a typical beginning fan fiction writer or are there really numerous errors in this story?

Sincerely,

Snow Cover

Edit: Changed "Anewe" to "Ane-ue"

"Ane-ue" means "older sister."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Chapter 4

Beware of cosplayers.

I scan my surroundings, searching for any clues that might tell me where I am. Nothing but white. Am I dreaming again?

"Sou-chan," I hear someone murmur. I know that voice.

"Ane-ue!" I happily exclaim as I bow before my sister. Her gentle hand pats my head as she softly laughs. "Ane-ue, is this a dream again?"

She nods.

"I see," I quietly whisper, "then I wish that I would never wake up again."

"Sou-chan, don't say that. What would Kondo-san do if you slept forever? And Hijikata-san, won't he be depressed?"

"I think I'd rather stay with you here especially because Hijikata-san is being creepy pervert…or a perverted creep, not too sure which suits him properly."

"Oh? Why, Sou-chan?" she asks.

"His face was unusually red in the previous chapter. Do you remember the part where we walked out of Rofuto, and he was flushing while he was asking why I accepted the lubricant?" I happily click on the link for the previous chapter. Don't ask me where the computer suddenly came from.

"Yes. I remember that part, Sou-chan. You thought Hijikata-san was having inappropriate fantasies about me, correct?"

I nod to her question.

"But his face could have been red for another reason, right?"

"Well, it definitely wasn't skin rash…Ane-ue, do you know?"

"Sou-chan, both you and Hijikata are so oblivious right now. You have so much more to learn about…," she tells me as she brushes my hair, "never mind, Sou-chan."

"Learn about what, Ane-ue?" I curiously ask.

"Oh, you'll figure it out soon enough," she answers. Huh? What I am supposed to learn about?

Suddenly, the strange earthquake occurs again. Hijikata must be shaking me awake right now, but something odd happens. _Drip. Drop._ Droplets of rain pitter patter on the floor.

"Ah, Sou-chan. I need to leave you, but I'll come back to visit you again," my sister tells me as she pats my head.

"Good bye, Ane-ue," I embrace her one last time before she disappears. I close my eyes…5…4…3…—wait, maybe I should tap my shoes together. There's no place like Edo, there's no place like Edo—2…1.

I open my eyes as I remove my red mask.

Huh? Kondo is the disruptor of my dreams? Where's Hijikata? Oh, the mayo addict is sitting right next to me, and he's wiping droplets of water from his forehead. Wait, why do I feel as if someone poured water on me too?

"Toshi, Sougo, I have a job for you two," Kondo tells us as he swings a dripping water bucket back and forth. Well, that would explain why we're not dry. It must have been difficult for Kondo to wake us up. Hmm…anyway, it sounds like Kondo has a very important mission for us. Our commander grabs a suitcase from behind him. Huh…this must _really_ be important. Hijikata and I decide to look at the contents of the suitcase. They were—

"Kondo-san, are those cosplay clothes?!" Hijikata exclaims as he points at the neatly folded clothes in the suitcase.

"Ne, Hijikata-san, I think this would suit you very well. This will really accentuate your feminine side," I taunted him as I lifted an ornate gothic black dress with a frilly white apron. Kondo stares at the dress. Then, he gazes at me. A light-bulb appears on top of his head. Oh no…

"Sougo, that dress is perfect for you! Here's a pair of cat ears. Now, go change!" Kondo unlocks the chain and excitedly pushes me into another room to wear the ridiculous costume. Hijikata is snickering as I slide the door close.

"Now, as for you Toshi…" Hijikata's silent laughter ceases. Serves him right. I remove my night kimono and lift up my arms to wear the treacherous black dress. I don the frilly apron and tie a neat ribbon behind me. Now, how must I wear these cat ears? I attempt to clip the ears to my hair several times, but they continue to slip after I attach them. I exit the room. Huh? Why does Hijikata get to wear a very non-feminine but rather manly tuxedo? Oh well, at least he's wearing cat ears too.

"Kondo-san, will you please help me attach these ears?"

Kondo snatches about ten hairpins from the suitcase and attaches the ears to my hair. I wonder if he learned that from Otae-san. Surely Otae-san wore cat ears for her job before. And why isn't there any dialogue for Hijikata-san at the moment? Isn't this the part where he's supposed to mock my costume? Words must not be cheap right now.

"Now Toshi, Sougo, your mission is to attend a _Loveless_ cosplay event in which cat ears and costumes are essential in order to blend in with the crowd," Kondo explains. "The shogun will be attending the event as well, and he has requested you to be his bodyguards just in case someone plans to attack him."

"Kondo-san, can't we just wear our uniforms?" I ask.

"No, the Shogun thinks that the presence of Shinsengumi members might pose fear to the people attending the event, so you need to pretend that you're only coming because you want to attend the event, not because you need to guard the Shogun." Kondo replies. "Got it?"

Hijikata and I nod.

"Now off you go! Good luck, you two!"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, Death Note, Pokemon, Loveless, the Wikipedia article about Loveless, or keyascribe's big, wide eyes idea.

Chapter 5

Cat ears are meant to removed.

12:09 P.M. Loveless Cosplay Event…

"Ne, Hijikata-san, how should we protect Shogun-sama without appearing like we're supposed to?" I tug on the chain as I question him.

"I don't know. We can just keep an eye on Shogun-sama while we chat with the people here. Do you know anything about the _Loveless_ anime or manga?"

I shake my head to his question.

"Oi you two, why are you here?"

It seems that Boss, China, and Shinpachi are here, and they're wearing cat ears too.

"We're supposed to protect the Shogun while pretending like we're just attending the cosplay event," I state, deliberately infuriating Hijikata.

"What the hell are you doing, bastard?! You shouldn't say that where everyone can hear you!" Hijikata bellows as he lifts me up by my collar and glares.

Enormous twinkling eyes: _Activate_. "S-sorry, Hi-Hijikata-san," I stammer using a very small voice. Don't you love my acting skills? Hijikata quickly puts me down, turns away from me, and quietly chews his nicotine gum. Just as planned.

"I'm guessing you have no idea what this anime is about," Boss assumes as he sips from a carton of strawberry milk. "Okay Gin-sensei shall teach you about _Loveless_. Here's the story. _Loveless _is about a twelve-year-old cat-boy named Ritsuka Aoyagi who meets a mysterious twenty-year-old man, Soubi Agatsuma, who claims to be a friend of Aoyagi Seimei, Ritsuka's deceased older brother. When Ritsuka discovers Seimei's abandoned files, he learns that an organization called Septimal Moon is responsible for his brother's death."

Boss takes another loud sip of his strawberry milk.

"But that's the less important part." Boss scratches his perm.

"Oi, what do you mean by less important? That's one of the important parts in the story!" The usually exasperated Four-Eyes...is exasperated again.

"The most important part of _Loveless _is Soubi becomes Ritsuka's 'Fighter,' and Ritsuka becomes Soubi's 'Sacrifice.' As they fight together in a series of spell battles against Septimal Moon's other pairs of 'Fighters' and 'Sacrifices' and search for the truth behind the death of Seimei, Ritsuka and Soubi's relationship deepens and becomes intimate."

Boss pauses, gulps down the last of his remaining strawberry milk, and continues his lesson about _Loveless._

"Oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you…The most immediately striking aspect of the story is that many characters are kemonomimi, and not only the conventional catgirls — cat features, which are ears and tails, are universal from birth, so there are as many catboys, including the protagonist. Those who no longer have the animal features are differentiated by society as "adults" who've lost their virginity, illustrating an underlying theme about sexuality in society."

"You plagiarized that from Wikipedia!" Shinpachi shrieks.

"Citation! Citation!" Kagura demands. "Cite or someone will sue us, and we won't get to buy that large onigiri or the beef for sukiyaki!"

"Parentheses quotation mark Loveless space parentheses Manga parentheses quotation mark parentheses," Boss states the in-text citation, which is written as ("Loveless (Manga)").

"Hijikata-san, should we arrest the author if there is no full citation at the end of this chapter?" I ask the quiet Hijikata.

"Yes, in Edo, anyone who illegally plagiarizes will be fined at least nine million yen," Hijikata states. This is the part where your eyes become shaped like saucers, reader and author.

"Hey, Shogun! Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

Everyone's eyes dart towards a group of masked swordsmen and huh…sumo wrestlers. Hijikata rushes to protect the Shogun, dragging me with him as I look for the large flower vase in which I hid my bazooka.

"Oi, pretty lady, you should leave that stupid looking guy and come with us," one of the samurai-wannabes suggests with a wink.

"Yeah, we could use someone like you for some fun," a sumo wrestler adds.

I feel a sudden tug on my wrist as Hijikata pulls on the chain causing me to stumble towards him. "_He's_ with me." Realizing that what he just said did not sound right, Hijikata's face becomes pale, and realizing their mistake, our enemies' faces lose their color as well. I take this opportunity to rush to the flower vase, grab the bazooka, and launch it at the still shocked gang, making sure that the rocket misses Hijikata by only a few centimeters.

"You sadistic idiot! You just tried to kill me again!" Hijikata accuses me.

"Hijikata-san, that's not true. I made sure that the bullet would miss your extra-large head by three centimeters," I assure him.

Hijikata switches his glaring eyes to the pile of defeated of swordsmen and sumo wrestlers.

"Oi, Sougo, any suggestions on how to get rid of the big ones?" Hijikata asks.

I stroll towards the shogun, who is currently chatting with the Yorozuya trio about _Loveless_ and the number of fans who demand that Ritsuka must lose his ears to Soubi.

"Shogun-sama, would you happen to have a bulldozer?" I question the shogun, earning a bewildered expression from Hijikata. "We need to push the sumo wrestlers out of here."

Shinsengumi Headquarters 10:45 P.M.

I finally remove the frilly white apron and the black gothic Lolita dress, but I can't seem to get rid of the cat ears. Damn, I have no idea how Kondo stuck these ears with these hairpins. I sigh.

"Hijikata-san, would you please help me get rid of these ears?" I request. Hey, I even said "please."

1…2…3…Hijikata does not respond and he seems…flustered?

"Fine, I'll just ask Kondo-san," I murmur as I leave the room.

"Wait! Sougo, Kondo might take that the wrong way!"

No, Hijikata, only _you_ would take that question the wrong way.

**Author's notes**

Here's the MLA citation for the part that I copied from Wikipedia about _Loveless_. Also, the enormous twinkling eyes idea is from Chapter 19, which is titled "books", of keyascribe's _Swords, Sakura & Mayonnaise_. I really don't want to be punished for plagiarism.

keyascribe. "books." Swords, Sakura & Mayonnaise. : 2007. 10 Jan. 2009. f a n f i c t i /s/3630025/19/Swords_Sakura_&_Mayonnaise.

"Loveless (manga)." Wikipedia. 6 Jan. 2009. Wikimedia Foundation. 10 Jan. 2009 W i k i p e d i /wiki/Loveless_(manga).

Edit March 21, 2009: I have made some changes to this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Chapter 6

Handcuffs increase your analytical skills by twenty percent.

Shinsengumi Headquarters 2 A.M.

It has been two days since Kondo has handcuffed me to Hijikata. So far, I've noticed that Hijikata has swayed from his usual behavior. On the first day, when we were leaving Rofuto, his face was completely scarlet as he asked why I accepted a lubricant. On that same day, his face lost all of its color when we were changing into our night kimonos, and he seemed petrified or paralyzed.

Yesterday, he was not speaking when I finished putting on that despicable dress, and I expected him to endlessly mock me. Then, just last night, I asked Hijikata to assist me in removing my cat ears, but he assumed that I was asking for him to well…tarnish my chastity. Even Kondo had enough sense to simply pluck the ears from my hair, but then again, Kondo would never find the correlation between the removal of ears and the loss of purity, even if he did happen to watch or read _Loveless_.

Ane-ue has also been odd. She is keeping a secret from me. What the hell am I supposed to learn about? About Hijikata? Well, I admit that I currently know nothing about his strange actions. But then again, there's no harm in attempting to understand the reason behind his actions.

Let's analyze his actions. On the first day since the chaining period, during the lubricant fiasco, he denied all my accusations that he was picturing inappropriate fantasies about Ane-ue and told me that he was afflicted with a skin rash. I do not believe his face was red due to a skin rash, but he seemed honest when he denied my accusations involving my sister.

When we were changing our clothes, the exact moment in which he was pale as a ghost was when I replaced my uniform with my kimono.

He was in a peculiar silence after I donned the gothic Lolita dress.

He assumed that I wanted to lose my purity when I asked him to help me remove my cat ears.

I must not forget the time with the sumo wrestlers and samurai, when he said something very out of character: "_He_'s with me."

If Hijikata's face was not scarlet due to thoughts about my sister during that time at Rofuto, could _I _have made him flush? After all, it was _I_ who accepted the lubricant.

Hijikata's face turned pale when _I _was changing clothes

The noisy Hijikata was oddly silent after _I_ appeared wearing that cosplay costume.

Hijikata thought that _I_ wanted to taint my virginity.

Hijikata claimed that _I_ was with him although he did not intend to make that comment.

Hmm…

There is a possibility that Hijikata is infatuated with me.

What will Ane-ue say? Won't she be hurt? Hijikata, you heartless bastard, I thought you cared for Ane-ue's happiness. Now, you're ruining her happiness even though she's not here anymore. I can't stand corrupted people like you, where's that black notebook?! I'll use my own blood just to kill people like you! Hahahahahaha!

Wait…

Sougo, your eyes might be glowing red right now, calm down. After all, it's not the damn idiot's fault that he's unintentionally permitting himself to be infatuated with you. I'm sure he's trying his best not to hurt Ane-ue. Right now, Hijikata is probably ferociously battling with his emotions.

Oi…I really need to sleep.

I grab my eye mask as I delve into the bright white realm.

My sister is waiting for me with a comforting smile.

"Sou-chan, I heard your thoughts earlier. I am proud to have such a clever little brother." She brushes a few strands of my hair.

"About Hijikata-san, Ane-ue? Was that what I needed to realize?" I ask, receiving a nod as a reply.

"Ane-ue…," I whisper, "I'm sorry for causing Hijikata-san to unintentionally ruin your happiness."

She immediately wraps me in a warm embrace and softly states, "There's nothing to worry about. There's no need to be sorry. No one is at fault. Sou-chan, my happiness will never be ruined."

"Ane-ue, is that really true?"

"Sou-chan, it's not good to doubt your Ane-ue's words. Of course I'm happy! This chaining period is bringing revelations to you and Hijikata-san, and I'm sure that it will continue to bring more!" She exclaims with a smile. More revelations? "Ah, sorry, Sougo, I might be confusing you right now, but don't worry you'll learn soon."

"Ane-ue, why can't you tell me now?" I complain.

"Sou-chan, patience, I think it's better if you discover the revelations yourself rather than revealing them now," Ane-ue explains. "Sou-chan, I need to leave now. I'll be back sometime again. Goodbye, Sou-chan."

"Goodbye Ane-ue."

9:02 A.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

Well, Ane-ue doesn't seem to have a problem with Hijikata's current dilemma, but wait…Ane-ue has always attempted to prevent me from noticing her unhappiness. Could she also be pretending to be pleased this time? Hijikata might be unintentionally hurting my sister right now, that damn idiot. A new mission has arrived: I must eradicate Hijikata's attraction to me!

Let's commence Plan 1: The Silent Treatment.

"Oi, lazy imp, wake up," Hijikata demands. "It's our turn to patrol the city."

I hear footsteps rapidly approaching, and Kondo suddenly slides the door open with a slam and bursts, "Toshi! Sougo! I need you to patrol the carnival for me today."

"Kondo-san, isn't that your job today?" Hijikata asks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing, it's not something you would be willing to know," Kondo quickly replies. Kondo will probably stalk Otae-san during the carnival today. "Thank you for complying with my request. Good bye and try to have fun!" Kondo rushes out the door before Hijikata could utter a "no."

10:32 A.M. Edo Carnival

There are a number of things in the Edo carnival that I look forward to. I've enjoyed riding on the Ferris wheel ever since I arrived in Edo. I've always loved the rollercoasters except for that time I forgot to wear my safety belt. I still enjoy the cotton candy to this very day.

But there is something that makes today even more exciting than any other day I visited the carnival: the new prize of Shinsengumi dolls at the shooting booth. As I prolong my gaze at the Hijikata doll, my temptation to knock out all of the bottles with a plastic toy gun at the booth increases. The doll is perfect for all kinds of voodoo torture! I can stick pins to make Hijikata to feel stinging sensations throughout his body, throw the doll against the wall so that Hijikata will injure his body, or—

"Sougo, you are not going to play at that booth. Stop taking your work so lightly or I'll take away your bazooka," Hijikata threatens as he drags me away from the booth. Way to ruin my fun, Mr. Take-your-work-seriously-or-you'll-face-my-demonic-wrath. I don't even understand why you, the uptight, stingy, and idiotic mayonnaise freak, have grown fond of me, a strategic, cunning, and obviously way more cool-headed sadist.

"I don't understand why Kondo-san would even bother to make sure that there's someone patrolling the carnival," Hijikata states. "Not many people would dare to disrupt carnival and if there was someone who was stupid enough to do such a horrid thing, the number of people could probably handle any problem anyway. What do you think, Sougo?"

I give him no reply. Silent treatment, remember?

"Oi, Sougo, answer me you damn sadistic imbecile!" he bellows. His fierce eyes meet my own. Clearly, Hijikata is aggrieved.

I lower my head and tilt my head to the side, avoiding his eyes. Hijikata sighs.

"Sougo," he pauses and continues, "I don't know what I've done wrong or if you're hiding something from me, but whatever it is, don't forget that aside from your sister and Kondo-san, I consider myself as your first friend."

Hijikata has been watching too much anime, but his statement is not false.

Hijikata gulps and murmurs, "I'm sorry."

I am shocked. I was not expecting that. No Sougo, you cannot break the silent treatment plan! For the sake of your sister's happiness, Hijikata must cease his attraction towards you!

Receiving no response, Hijikata starts to walk, pulling me with him. I glue my eyes to the ground as I trail after Hijikata's steps. Why can't I look at Hijikata? _Guilt._ No, that's not possible, that's not my way of the sadist!

Hijikata's steps halt, and I hear a gun being loaded. _Clink. Clink. Clink. Crash! _The sound of bottles tipping and breaking? Are we at that booth?

"Here," Hijikata mutters as I feel something being shoved in my arms. It's the Hijikata doll!

Then, I notice something else. Hijikata is starting to conceal something in a plastic bag. Why, it's a doll of me! All my plans to torture Hijikata utilizing a voodoo doll are now crushed because he can use the Sougo doll for voodoo torture, too. Wait, there is a forty percent probability that Hijikata has purchased that doll for another reason. Hijikata might have bought that doll because it resembled _me_, which would mean that he's gradually surrendering or has already yielded to his infatuation. Oh no. Wait, there's still that remaining sixty percent. Let's be optimistic for now.

11:50 P.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

I place the Hijikata doll in an intricately decorated wooden box, which —unbeknownst to Hijikata—is actually the box where one must place a doll as part of the voodoo ritual.

The sleeping Hijikata is five inches away from me muttering some nonsense during his slumber. What is he saying? I inch a little closer to decipher his babbling.

"Mayonnaise…mayonnaise …on…Sougo," he slowly whispers in his sleep. Filthy thoughts have infiltrated Hijikata's dreams! And what the hell! Why am I suddenly combined with mayonnaise in his dreams?

I am in need of a new brilliant plan to drive Hijikata's infatuation away.

Author's notes:

Dear Reader:

In my perspective, this chapter is a tad more serious than the previous chapters. Sougo has discovered the reason behind Hijikata's strange behavior.

I have corrected the dialogue tags after learning the rules of dialogue. Before I learned the rules, I only knew that after each dialogue was a comma before the tag if there's supposed to be a period after the quoted sentence. I apologize for my mistakes.

Request:

I saw an adorable Youtube Gintama video:【手書き金魂】ミツバ編でフ/ル/ー/ツ/バ/ス/ケ/ッ/ト by chocora13

It seems so undeniably sweet, but I cannot understand what's written in the video. I'm not even sure what the title says, haha. So, if someone would like to give me a translation, please message it to me.

Thank you for reading this chapter!

Sincerely,

Snow Cover


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Chapter 7

If you're handcuffed to someone, don't play the Pocky Game with anyone other than the person to whom you are enchained.

Wait, author, before you even start the story, don't you think you should warn the GinHiji fans that I bashed about their pairing? Well, I didn't really bash, I just asked why the fans like the pairing. Ah, never mind, I just did _your _job.

Day 4- 7:00 A.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

I had hoped that the silent treatment would wash away Hijikata's agitating infatuation. After all, what better way to repulse someone than to bore them to death with silence? Unfortunately, Hijikata is immune to the silent treatment, so his attraction to me remains intact.

This situation calls for Plan 2: Get a temporary fiancé to get rid of Hijikata's infatuation. Now, I just have to select who my temporary partner shall be.

Boss? No, he would probably refuse, and it might look too obvious that I'm only pretending. Furthermore, I fear that I might have to confront innumerable issues with the zealous advocates of the GinHiji pairing. Personally, I'm not much of a fan of this pairing. And no, author and reader, there is not a smidge of jealousy in that sentence. Would you like the comfort of a bazooka down your throat?

Also, why does Hijikata often have to be the uke in this pairing? No, I am not complaining because and take note of this, please: Even though I'm not GinHiji fan, I must admit that the idea of Hijikata being punished by Boss seems pretty entertaining. I am merely curious. Is Hijikata the uke simply because Boss is the main character of Gintama or is it because Boss is older than Hijikata? Perhaps the supporters of the GinHiji pairing favor Boss more than the disgusting mayonnaise addict? Maybe it's because of the sauna scene between the two?

…

Alright, alright, I'll stop asking questions and move on to the next person.

China? No, Hijikata knows that peace does not exist between us. Yes, author, I am well aware that you might seize the attention of the OkiKagu fans if I choose China. However, Hijikata will know that I'm only acting because she and I are inclined to fight over just about _anything_. Also, please consider the interests of the non-OkiKagu fans who are reading this fan fiction.

How about Shinpachi-san? No, no, that would be too strange, and Otae-san might pummel me to the ground. Then, I'll never see daylight again.

Otae-san? No, definitely not, Kondo will bear an eternal grudge against me, and Otae-san will make my life hell. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a hellish life but only when I'm in control.

Kyubei? No, she's afraid to be even touched by most men.

The purple rotund Amanto with the strange antenna? NO! Why did I even consider such an extremely weird choice?

How about in the Shinsensumi?

Well, there's Kondo, but that would be even odder than choosing the Amanto. No, definitely not Kondo.

Yamazaki? He seems like a good choice. He's gullible, and he has a bit of masochism in him. Yes, author, I am aware that some of the readers might by anti-Okita xYamazaki, but remember that this is only temporary. So…Yamazaki it is!

"Oi, Sougo, get up, I am not wasting my day-off sleeping in this room," Hijikata demanded as he pulls the chain, causing me to sit. Hijikata seems to be struggling in his attempts to maintain his normal scowling demeanor after his "Mayonnaise on Sougo" dream last night. To be honest, I'm amazed that I'm able to resist using the Hijikata voodoo doll to punish the damn idiot.

Time for the plan.

"Hijikata-san, the reason that I was so quiet yesterday is because…," I pause, feigning hesitance, and continue, "is because I've grown fond of Yamazaki-san."

Hijikata appears to be astonished and seems frozen. After three seconds, Hijikata breaks the silence, "So the king of Planet Sadist has a heart after all, huh?" His usual devilish grin is implanted on his face, but his eyes do not have their usual taunting glint.

"Yes, Hijikata, now can we spend the day with Yamazaki-kun? Great. Let's go." I do not even give Hijikata a chance to respond before I rush out of the room.

* * *

7:31 A.M. Outside the Shinsengumi Headquarters

Yamazaki is currently playing badminton as I walk towards him with Hijikata reluctantly following me.

"Yamazaki-san," I wave my hand to the racket-loving spy as I politely ask, "could you teach me how to play badminton?"

Yamazaki ceases swinging his racket and looks at me with shock covering his entire expression.

"Y-yes, C-captain Okita," he stutters as he as he hands me his racket. "You have to practice swinging it like this first." He gives me a demonstration of the various swinging techniques using an imaginary racket.

I imitate his actions as I swing the racket. However, on my tenth swing, I "accidentally" swing the racket towards Hijikata's skull, which happens to be located right next to me.

"Sorry, Hijikata-san, I didn't mean to damage your gigantic head," I monotonously "apologize."

"Oi, Sougo, I am not your target practice! You know very well that we're chained! You should have—"

"Hijikata-san, I told you. It was an accident. Perhaps you're just in an awful mood because you haven't eaten anything since breakfast," I interrupt Hijikata's would-be-lengthy diatribe. "Shall we head to Rofuto to buy some food for Hijikata-san? Yamazaki-san, you should come with us too."

Hijikata mumbles something about food always being used to change the topic as he grudgingly nods.

"Of course, Captain Okita," Yamazaki complies with my suggestion.

* * *

8:07 A.M. Rofuto

As Hijikata, Yamazaki, and I enter Rofuto, I encounter something that might be useful to my plan: a stack of pocky boxes.

"Good morning to you three," a Rofuto saleswoman greets us.

"Those pockies are on sale for only 200 yen, and they are excellent for pocky games. I am assuming that you already know what a pocky game is, right?" The woman winks.

Hijikata and Yamazaki quickly nod while I shake my head with a puzzled demeanor, pretending that I absolutely have no clue what a pocky game is.

"Oh, you poor thing! Why don't one of you teach your friend how to play the pocky game?" she poses the question to Hijikata and Yamazaki. Then, she departs to greet the other customers entering Rofuto.

"Yamazaki-san, would you please teach me how to play a game with this pocky?" I request as I lift a box of chocolate pockies out of the stack, receiving incredulous looks from Hijikata and Yamazaki.

"C-captain Okita, I don't think that I should be the one to teach you. I think Vice Commander—" Hijikata's death glare stops Yamazaki from finishing his suggestion. "Okay, Captain Okita, I'll teach you how to play the pocky game." He takes the box from my hand and pulls out one of the chocolate-coated pockies.

"We must each eat the pocky from one end and whoever takes their mouth off the pocky first loses. However, if both of us keeps eating the pocky until it's gone…," Yamazaki trails off not knowing how to continue.

"No one loses and you two end up kiss-kiss," Boss suddenly finishes Yamazaki's explanation, pointing his two index fingers to each other. Huh, I must not have notice him enter the store. Of course, China and Four-Eyes are here too.

"Ah, the beauty of young love and pocky sticks!" China exclaims.

"Oi! Aren't we here to pick up a couple of those pocky sticks for Otose?!" Shinpachi reminds them.

"Shh, never interrupt the beauty of young man love and pocky sticks!" Boss passionately comments as if the statement is actually an old adage. "Please start the game, you two. Or shall I count for you? On the count of three…"

"One."

Yamazaki hands me the chocolate covered end as he places the other end in front of his teeth.

"Two."

I glance at Hijikata. He seems to be in a state of confusion as he realizes that he's about to watch a pocky game from which he cannot escape because he's chained to one of the game's participants.

"Three! Go!"

I focus on nibbling on my end of the pocky and ignore Kagura's chants, as well as Shinpachi's constant reminders about Otose's pocky boxes.

As the chocolate coat of the pocky disappears, I hear approaching footsteps. More customers must be coming to Rofuto.

"Ah welcome everyone! Are you here to witness the beauty of Pocky Love?" Boss questions the customers.

"We're selling videos of this special moment for only 1,000 yen!" China shouts, earning several enthusiastic glees.

"Oi! Otose's pocky boxes! And where did you find that video camera? Did you even pay for that?" Shinpachi anxiously shrieks.

"Hey, why is that man chained to one of the guys eating the pocky?" one of the customers asks.

"Is this supposed to be a shounen-ai love triangle?" a girl questions with interest. She must be a zealous BL fangirl.

The customers continue to excitedly chatter as I attempt to regain my focus on nibbling the pocky.

The pocky is only about three inches long now. In a few seconds, the entire remainder of the pocky stick will be consumed and there will be zero distance between Yamazaki and me. Do I really want that? Sougo, you should want that. This plan must work so that Hijikata's infatuation will be erased. The length of the pocky stick is only three centimeters now. Again, do I really want _that_? I must…only one centimeter left…I close my eyes.

I feel a sudden tug on my wrist.

I open my eyes and realize that I am being pulled away from the unfinished one centimeter pocky stick. There is a tight grip on my left wrist. The hand around my wrist is also wearing a metallic cuff.

Hijikata.

Hijkata's eyes are burning with fiery anger as he drags me towards the store's exit. His mouth is curved into a frown and his eyebrows a scowl. He is beyond furious.

As we leave the store, Boss discusses about jealous possessive partners and pocky games with Kagura, Shinpachi, and Yamazaki.

* * *

9:32 A.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

"Hijikata-san, why did you do that?" I calmly ask an extremely enraged Hijikata, who currently has a seventy percent probability of being a possessive partner.

"Yamazaki will not be a good partner for you."

"Why? I think we're a perfect match."

Hijikata stammers for a few seconds and eventually replies, "Since Yamazaki is in love with his badminton racket and you're a sadist, you will probably destroy the racket on a daily basis, and…" He ponders for two seconds and continues, "Yamazaki will never be a successful badminton player, and he would be too busy mourning for his racket to spy for the Shinsengumi."

That's an obvious lie.

I start to retort, "But—"

"And no! I wasn't thinking of you dancing seductively around a pole-size pocky stick!" Hijikata's face immediately turns red because he certainly did not intend to share that comment.

A period of awkward silence occurs. I am not sure how to react to Hijikata's comment, which was practically a confession of his thoughts.

"My, my. Hijikata-san has an overactive imagination. I was never going to say that," I taunt in my usual monotone, masking my inner state of nervousness.

"S-shut up. Anyone could have pictured that in their mind," Hijikata attempts to defend himself.

"You're right, Hijikata-san," I agree with him, which surprises Hijikata.

"Good. Now let me rest. The ridiculousness of Pocky and young love is too much for a man like me." Hijikata grabs a blanket and begins his nap.

Little does Hijikata know that I only pretended to agree with him because I have just concocted a new subterfuge that will involve the use of the voodoo doll to eliminate Hijikata's stubborn infatuation. Enjoy this day while you can, Hijikata-san, because tomorrow might be painful.

I quietly chuckle as the incognizant Hijikata drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Author's notes:

To the anonymous reviewers of Torture Days:

I have no clue how to message you a "thank you" for reviewing, so I am truly hoping that you get to read this message.

Hehehehehehe, thank you for reviewing. I am pleased that my addition of a HijiOki fic to the Gintama fan fiction archive has made you happy. I see you love my insertion of the Death Note handcuffs, hehe. I am terribly sorry if I've disappointed you by not using Light/Raito's notebook in the story.

KATSURA, thank you for reviewing. I am glad that you were so excited to read Chapter 3 after you read the first two chapters.

Katsura, thank you for reviewing and telling me that you found my story fabulous. Yes, I felt very uneasy with Chapter 3 because I thought that my implementation of the lubricant in the story was really suggestive, and I feared that I might end up raising my story's rating to M. I also felt very uneasy about having Sougo call Hijikata a necrophile because I was afraid that some readers might not find that funny.

mayora, thank you for reviewing and commending me for the improvement in my writing style. I appreciate the fact that you like the fourth-wall destruction in my story. I was really hoping that I won't be the only one who would find that funny.

mothma, thank you for reviewing and assuring me that my story wasn't bad after you read Chapter 3. I'm happy that you found my story very funny.

Yoruko, thank you for reviewing and correcting me in spelling "Ane-ue." I also want to thank you for quelling my fears about Sougo being too out of character and for telling me that you found the innuendo and the way broke the fourth wall funny. I was wishing that I wouldn't be alone in my laughter.

Rise, thank you for giving a translation of the cute Youtube Gintama video's title in your review.

To all the readers of this story:

Thank you for reading this chapter! I am so sorry if Sougo's questions about the GinHiji pairing have insulted you. The part with Sougo stating his opinion about the GinHiji pairing is not meant to be an insult at all. It's actually meant to very subtly express Sougo's jealousy.

Request:

If anyone would like to give a translation of the video "【手書き金魂】ミツバ編でフ/ル/ー/ツ/バ/ス/ケ/ッ/ト" by chocora13,

please post the translation on the youtube video's site or message it to me. You can even post the translation as a review to this story. Any way will do. Oh before I forget: according to Rise, "【手書き金魂】ミツバ編でフ/ル/ー/ツ/バ/ス/ケ/ッ/ト" means "[Hand-drawn Gintama] Mitsuba's Chapter (Of the story), Fruits Basket ver."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama.

Chapter 8

One can overcome astraphobia through an uncanny interest in bazookas.

Day 5-Shinsengumi Headquarters 6:03 A.M.

It seems that Plan B has failed to erase Hijikata's infatuation; instead, the Pocky incident stimulated possessiveness in the idiot.

Only one plan remains: I must cause Hijikata to detest me. Since Hijikata has grown accustomed to my daily attempts to maim him through my sword and rocket launcher and using weapons against the idiot will extend the chaining period, it is best to secretly use the voodoo doll for this plan.

I glance at Hijikata to ensure that he's still asleep. Good, it seems that he won't be waking up anytime soon.

Making sure not to pull the chain, I carefully crawl towards the floor board located beneath my pillow. I place my fingers along the gap between the wooden boards and quietly lift the board that conceals the secret box.

The box emits a green glow, which indicates that the doll is ready to be used for voodoo. I open the box and quickly grab the doll and the voodoo pin hidden in one of the box's secret slots. I replace the floor board and my pillow. Hijikata, I hope you'll enjoy this.

I permit a grin to emerge on my face as Hijikata continues to sleep.

* * *

8:30 A.M. Patrolling Edo

"Hijikata-san, just out of curiosity, how would you react if a part of your body suddenly stings, and you can't get rid of the pain?" I question Hijikata, who is currently preoccupied with his rants about not having enough mayonnaise in his bowl of ramen even though there were perhaps only 5 strands of noodles in said bowl. One has to wonder why the demonic vice commander never becomes rotund. But then again, Hijikata must get a lot of exercise avoiding my daily assaults.

"Tch. Are you plotting something again?" Hijikata scrutinizes me carefully, searching for any clues that might reveal my plan. But alas, he fails and continues to pace around Edo, unaware of the doll hidden in my uniform.

I quickly take out the doll and stab its stomach with the voodoo pin. Then, I immediately hide my hands behind my back.

Hijikata screams in agony as he clutches his stomach and faces me. "Sougo, what did you do?"

"I've done nothing, Hijikata-san, what's wrong?" I puncture the doll again behind my back. I wonder which part of the doll I pricked.

Hijikata shrieks and grasps his arm. "Don't act so innocent! I know very well that you're behind this! You asked that question earlier!"

"Hijikata-san, I think you've been cursed. Have you done anything _wrong_, lately?"

Hijikata eyes me suspiciously, hearing my emphasis on "wrong." Once again, I stab the miniature version of Hijikata.

Hijikata suppresses his screams of pain as his eyes cautiously scan me. Then he darts forward to grab my arms, but I quickly avoid him, stabbing the doll again in the process.

"You freak! I know you have something hidden behind you!"

"What? You mean this?" I finally reveal the doll to the suffering Hijikata. "What can poor Hijikata-san do? You know you can't ask help from anyone, especially Kondo, because you'll only lengthen the chaining period."

"Then I'll just have to get it myself!" Hijikata continuously attempts to seize the doll.

"I wonder how Hijikata would feel if I put this little pin down here." With the pin, I point to the area of the doll where a man's very important body part would be located. Come to think of it, does this doll happen to have that thing?

"Don't. You. Dare!"

The pin hovers above the doll…

"Toshi, Sougo!" I suddenly hear Kondo's voice. How unfortunate, I cannot continue to torment Hijikata. I immediately hide the doll behind me once again as Kondo approaches.

"Toshi, Sougo, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be patrolling near the Yorozuya by now?" Kondo asks us, his voice indicating curiosity.

Kondo's eyes widen when he looks at Hijikata. What? What's wrong? Oh…Hijikata's right hand is directly four inches in front of his very important male body part. He must be truly fearful that I'm going to stab the doll there.

"Toshi, listen to me, don't do what you're about to do in public," Kondo warns and pats his shoulder.

Hijikata catches on to Kondo's words and immediately places his hand to his side.

"Alright, time to patrol around Otae-chan, make sure you finish patrolling everywhere." Kondo rushes to visit the Otae-chan's club.

Hijikata turns to me and hisses, "You'll pay for this, bastard."

"Uh, uh, uh. You wouldn't want your _precious_ to be damaged, right Hijikata-san?"

* * *

9:45 P.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

"Oi, Sougo, why'd you suddenly stop? Not that I'm complaining," Hijikata murmurs as we enter room to watch the soap opera.

"Hijikata-san's screams got too boring," I nonchalantly reply.

"What did I do wrong to you anyway?" he asks as he turns on the T.V. The show today is "My Neighbor Pedoro," Hijikata's favorite program.

"We should talk about this later, right Hijikata-san?" I receive a nod as a reply as Hijikata glues his eyes to the screen.

A couple of minutes later, I hear a discreet tapping noise. I glance at Hijikata. No, the taps aren't coming from him. I search for the source of the faint noise as Hijikata continues to watch the show. The taps have significantly increased their volume. Where is that noise coming from? I turn towards Hijikata to ask him about the taps.

"Hijikata-san, what—"

"It's rain. Now shh." He swiftly refocuses his complete attention to the T.V.

The raindrops have begun to sound like thrown stone pellets now, and I think the wind is currently howling like a ghoul. Is there going to be a thunderstorm?

As the rain pellets continue to tap dance, I can hear the ominous thunder slowly, softly rumbling and growling, waiting for that moment to strike.

Boom!

"Hijikata, I don't want to stay here! I want to go home and see Ane-ue!" I shouted in the almost empty dojo. I did not know why I couldn't control my behavior, but for some reason I could not explain, the roars of the thunder were making me severely anxious and terrified. Hijikata stared at me, his eyes filled with panic and confusion.

"Okita-senpai, calm down, we can't go home. We have to stay here because it's not safe to walk home in this type of weather," Hijikata attempted to assuage my fears. "Don't worry, tomorrow, we can go home and you can see your sister."

Crack. Boom!

I began to frantically pace around the room. I never should have stayed to fight Hijikata. I couldn't go home. Kondo-san went home early, before we started the fight. There was a thunderstorm. I had no idea what to do. I was with an idiot. I was also an idiot.

Boom!

I screamed and faltered in my steps. Fortunately, two arms wrapped securely around me and prevented my head from colliding with the floor. They were Hijikata's arms.

I struggled to free myself from the tightly enclosed arms. Disgusting, mayo-freak Hijikata was embracing me! The same person who stole Ane-ue and Kondo from me!

"Hijikata, let me go!"

"Senpai, listen to me! You don't have to be scared of thunder!" Hijikata demanded.

"I'm not scared, let me go!" I insisted. Hijikata shook his head and refused to loosen his grip around my waist.

"Look. Just pretend that thunder is just one of those war weapons that go 'Boom!'" Hijikata advised as he stroked my hair. "I think those were called bazookas. They're really great long-range weapons, and they produce the same sound as thunder. You can pretend that you're using a bazooka when you hear thunder."

Just pretend you're using a bazooka, just pretend you're using a bazooka, just pretend…

"Sougo! Can you hear me?!" I can feel Hijikata's hands clutching my shoulders.

"Yes" is what I want to say, but I can't bring myself to open my mouth. What is going on?

Just pretend.

I try to nod, but my head refuses to move. I can't move. I'm paralyzed. I try to picture myself launching a bazooka.

Boom! The picture is erased. I attempt to conjure another bazooka image, but I can't, not with the thunder's roars echoing in my mind.

A huge, soft fabric is wrapped around me. A blanket? My head is against something very warm.

"Sougo, just pretend that you're about to launch that bazooka at me."

_Clarity._

I am wrapped in a blanket, lying on the room's matted floor with my head against Hijikata's chest. I feel a hand gently combing through my hair and another hand tracing circles on my back. Hijikata's eyes are filled with concern and anxiety.

Hijikata has helped me despite of the voodoo torture earlier? He's asking me to picture him being injured by a bazooka? How can this guy, a mayo freak with the title "Demonic Vice Commander," be this compassionate? Is Hijikata a Mary Sue? No.

"Hijikata-san is Hijikata-san."

* * *

Author's Notes:

Well, this chapter is definitely more serious than the other chapters. There aren't as many humor attempts in this chapter than the previous ones.

To the reviewers of Chapter 7:

Katsura, thank you for reviewing. I'm glad to know that I put you in a suspenseful mood during the Pocky scene. I am also very happy that you watched the video. (I agree with you that the first picture is pretty awesome.)

To all the readers of Torture Days:

Thank you for reading Chapter 8! I feel really elated because well…you're still here and you read my newest chapter! That really makes me cry tears of joy!

Prescriptions for those who have the HijiOki addiction:

*Listen to these Gintama HijiOki Youtube Audio Videos by hutatuki30:

*[腐専用]沖土改訂版[声いじり]－コピー part1

*[腐専用]沖土改訂版[声いじり]－コピー part2

*[腐専用]沖土改訂版[声いじり]－コピー part3

I seriously don't know what Hijikata and Okita are saying, but the videos sound so suggestive, so I am identifying them are HijiOki videos. I guess I would rate the videos as T.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

Chapter 9

It's not good to stand aloof from a sadist.

"Hijikata-san is Hijikata-san."

Hijikata's eyes twinkle with confusion and interest. He continues to stroke a few locks of my hair with his callous hands, whose touches are ironically soothing. Come to think of it, Hijikata's hands perfectly match himself. Just like his hands, Hijikata is outwardly rough but he hides a pleasing tenderness.

"What do you mean, Sougo?"

"I'm glad to have a friend like Hijikata-san." Did I just say something out of character? Yes, but that statement is true. But should I have said that?

The small twinkle in Hijikata's eyes gradually dissipates.

_Blur._

Everything is becoming muddled. I blink my eyes a few times, hoping to regain a clear vision, but my attempts are futile. Everything is spinning…drowsiness is overtaking me. These must be signs of sleepiness, so I allow myself to succumb to slumber.

Day 6- Shinsengumi Headquarters 7:00 A.M.

A beam of sun rays infiltrate the screen doors indicating that now is the time to wipe the sleep from my eyes and prepare for today's morning duties.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, interrupting the silence. Of course, the intruder is an enthusiastic Kondo.

"Toshi, Sougo! Wake up! It's time to—" Kondo's eyes widen as he witnesses the scene before him. Why wouldn't anyone be shocked to find the arms of the Shinsengumi's demonic vice commander enclosed around the shoulders of the sadistic captain, who often attempts to assassinate the former?

Wait, why are Hijikata's hands still touching me? I immediately crawl away from Hijikata, disrupting his sleep in the process. Hijikata blinks his eyes open and groggily stands up.

"Toshi, you better not have done anything with Sougo last night! He's too young for such things!"

Hijikata only stared at him with groggy, void eyes.

"Kondo-san, don't worry, I'm fine," I calmly assures Kondo in order to lessen his anxiety. I glance at Hijikata, who seems to be pondering about something.

"Oh…" Kondo gathers his thoughts for a moment and quietly asks, "Then why were you two…" He trails off, unsure of how to finish his question.

"I'm not sure Kondo-san, but aren't you pleased that the chain is improving our behavior?" I attempt to divert the topic so that I would not have to reveal the reason why we were positioned in a strange manner earlier.

"Ah, you're right." Kondo nods his head, slides the screen door open, and exits the room while happily mumbling something about the chaining period being a great idea.

I shift my gaze to Hijikata, who grabs his sheathed sword and one of his Shinsengumi uniforms. I examine his demeanor. Strange. I'm not sure how to describe his expression. He's not joyous, furious, or despondent. In fact, his face is devoid of any emotion. The aura surrounding Hijikata has become cold.

"Hijikata-san, what's wrong?"

He shakes his head with his hair shadowing his eyes, and rep_lies_, "Nothing's wrong."

* * *

10:32 A.M- Patrolling Edo

More than three hours has passed, and Hijikata still refuses to communicate with me in his usual manner. He barely spoke, choosing to only reply when I asked him questions. When he spoke, he often avoided looking at me. Well, I've had enough of Hijikata's nonsense. My eyes scan around the area to ensure that Kondo or anyone else in the Shinsengumi is not nearby. Good.

After rapidly unsheathing my katana, I lunge towards Hijikata and abruptly swing the weapon. Of course, Hijikata easily dodges the blade, which unfortunately slices a Jump stand in half. Manga pages fly in the air like a flock of birds and slowly land on the ground. But Hijikata remains unfazed, and the air around him continuous to be chilly. He continues to walk, and I follow him.

"Hijikata-san, did I do something wrong?" That's a rhetorical question since I have always wronged Hijikata.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," he mumbles. There's a fifty per cent possibility that the Hijikata in front of me is only a clone. Or perhaps this Hijikata is an android?

As Hijikata and I increase our distance from the broken Jump stand, I hear Boss' wails of "Nooo! The Jump!" Poor Boss. He must've wanted to buy the new Bleach volume. But then again, he should have only intended buy the Gintama manga.

* * *

3:00 A.M.-Still Patrolling Edo

"Hijikata-san, look! It's Yamazaki-san!" I gesture towards the spy, who is currently swinging his racket. "Yamazaki-san!"

"Oi, Yamazaki! Aren't you supposed to be doing your job right now?" Hijikata strolls over to the fear-struck Yamazaki. Has the normal Hijikata returned? I search for any emotion in Hijikata's eyes, but they are still empty.

Yamazaki is now being pummeled to the ground by Hijikata. I guess Yamazaki can never escape the wrath of Hijikata no matter what mood the mayonnaise addict is in.

8:34 P.M. Shinsengumi Headquarters

Perhaps the best way to restore Hijikata's normal behavior is to use the element of surprise. Well, here we go.

"Aru hareta hi no koto," I start to monotonously "sing" the music to the Hare Hare Yukai dance as I point with my left hand while drawing imaginary circles with my index finger and moving my circling hand adjacent to my head. I gain Hijikata's attention with my movements.

"Mahou ijou no yukai ga." I cross my legs and revert to my original position as I curl my hands into a fist and shake them up and down.

"Kagirinaku furisosogu fukano janai wa." I spread my arms with open palms. Then, I swing from left to right, place my left hand in front of my right, and point in every direction.

However, Hijikata's demeanor remains expressionless. Whatever is bothering Hijikata must not be a trivial thing. The Hare Hare Yukai dance has no effect on Hijikata, so there's no point in continuing it. Oh well, at least the dance brought fan service.

Hijikata walks towards Kondo's room. What is he going to do? He slides the screen door open.

"Toshi, Sougo, what can I do for you?" Kondo questions with curiosity.

"Kondo-san, there's something I would like to ask," Hijikata states with his chainless hand clutching the edge of the screen door.

Kondo is wearing a puzzled look.

"Since Sou—" The pupils of Hijikata's eyes dilate, and he hesitates to continue his statement.

"Hijikata-san—"

"Since we have not caused any major damage these past few days, and it seems that we're at peaceful terms now, could you please remove these handcuffs?" Hijikata blurts out his question.

Kondo ponders for a few seconds. With a sigh, he digs the key out of the pocket of his Shisengumi uniform.

"Alright, here's the key. Now, if the peace between you two isn't maintained, I'll have no problem enchaining you to each other again." Kondo hands Hijikata the key.

Hijikata unlocks his handcuff, shadow covering his eyes. I glance at Kondo. His expression is solemn and has a hint of perplexity. He must be curious about Hijikata's actions and the fact that the author did not adhere to the twenty-one days-chaining-period plan.

Hijikata gives me the key. I insert the key into the lock. Well, looks like it's the end of the chaining period. I twist the key to open the handcuff. The metallic object that bound me to Hijikata slips from my wrist.

I'm free.

Hijikata quietly exits the room mumbling a quick good night.

"Good night, Kondo-san." I leave the room as well.

I close the door to Kondo's room, searching for Hijikata's figure, but he was nowhere in sight.

Perhaps, Hijikata is in his room now.

Why is he acting so strangely distant? I start to make a few steps towards Hijikata's room, but I instantly stop. No. It's not my business. Besides, shouldn't I enjoy my first night of freedom?

I saunter towards my room. I shouldn't care about Hijikata's thoughts now. I slide the door open, revealing the emptiness of the room. I should be happy that Hijikata has become distant to me. He has overcome his infatuation.

My eyes are fixed on my chainless left wrist. No, nothing has gone awry.

But why does the air feel so cold?

* * *

Author's notes:

Katsura, thank you for reviewing, and I'm really happy that I made your dream come true by having Hijikata hug Sougo. I'm sorry for delaying the update. The part where Sougo does the Hare Hare Yukai dance was hard to write.

To all the readers of Torture Days:

Thank you for reading the ninth chapter! Again, I'm sorry about making the story less humorous. I find it really hard to blend dramatic conflicts with humor, so I'm truly sorry.

I hope that you'll continue to read this story!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Even the king from Planet Sadist can become ill if he stays out in the cold for too long.

Day 7- Shinsengumi Headquarters 9:03 A.M.

Something seems to be lost, missing, or lacking. It's awfully silent. Something is amiss. The fact that a cold steel chain is no longer clinging to my wrist is vexing. Why am I not pleased and content? Hijikata has overcome his infatuation. I am relieved, right? Right? Hijikata's whispers of mayonnaise during his slumber will no longer be heard. That's a convenient thing, right? Right? I don't miss the idiot's presence at all, right? But why does everything seem so...out of place? I yearn to see Hijikata's frustrated expression once more. That's all. Right?

Nothing more?

In a corner of the room, the Sougo doll sits forgotten and lifeless. I search my uniform for the Hijikata doll and place it adjacent to the brown-haired doll.

Why is the author so intent on making me emo today? Okita Sougo is rarely emo! I snatch my bazooka and exit my room with the passion of a very **apathetic **sadist.

Then again, the black Shinsengumi uniform doesn't really repel the emo label.

However, to be or not to be emo is not the point of this chapter.

Everything seems to be peaceful right now. No noise whatsoever. Everyone must be sleeping. I cautiously slide the screen door to Hijikata's room open, making sure not to make a squeak.

"Good morning, Hijikata-san," I whisper as I prepare to launch the bazooka. But Hijikata isn't here!

I wonder if he's in Kondo's room.

* * *

Kondo's room 9: 10 A.M.

"Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, good morning," I greet with a disinterested tone as I enter Kondo's room.

I glance around the room, but the place appears to be deserted. A gust of wind from an open window brushes past a folded paper with Kondo's handwriting. I seize the note and unfold the small sheet of paper.

"I'm going to be in a mission for the whole day to protect a woman this Valentine's Day," I quietly read the note to myself. Heh, I hope Otae-san will like the protection of a stalker this Valentine's Day.

I admire Kondo's perseverance though.

Small white dust soon enter the window. Some sort of powder? Powder could mean bombing, which could mean terrorists are lurking nearby. I rush towards the window, searching for any signs of masked figures. There are none. But…

I soon realize that the tiny white particles are actually snow flakes. The tiny pieces of ice have already accumulated to cover the ground with a thick white blanket.

* * *

A Street in Edo 10:32 A.M.

"Hijikata-san, are you here?" I question as I enter Rofuto with an armful of perfectly made snowballs. The sales clerk's bewildered eyes divert towards the spheres of snow that I am currently holding.

Guess Hijikata's not here.

Where could he be? I've been searching for more than an hour. I keep making snowballs and during my search for the missing idiot, they continue to melt.

The spheres of snow in my arms have become softer. I exit the store and dump the no-longer-perfectly crafted snowballs on the ground.

"Oi, sadist!" I suddenly hear China's loud, taunting voice. "Want to test your cowardly skills in a snowball fight?"

I turn towards China with a dull gaze. Boss and Shinpachi are already amassing lumps of snow and hastily fabricating them into spheres.

"Sure," I offhandedly accept their challenge.

11: 30 A.M.

"Gin-chan, I'm cooold," Kagura whines as she drops a lump of snow, and sits on the ground.

"M-mayb-be w-we s-s-should g-go b-back, i-it's g-get-t-ting t-too c-c-cold," Shinpachi manages to stutter out before collapsing. "B-besides, w-we're d-drenched. W-we m-might g-get sick."

Boss seems to agree because he's nodding.

"One must never take the risk of catching hypothermia!" Boss proclaims in a sage-like tone while he lifts his fellow Yorozuyas onto his shoulders.

How unfortunate. I have no one to play with anymore.

"You should go back home too," Boss suggests before he trudges through the snow to return to his home.

I know that he's right. I'm in a state of vertigo and my cheeks are freezing, but I still wish to remain underneath the falling snow for a few more minutes.

I gather a large pile of snow to make a gigantic sphere as I reminisce a particular snow day with Hijikata.

"You lowly, spineless creature, what the hell is your problem?!" A snow-drenched Hijikata growled as I continuously threw snowballs at the idiot. Unfortunately, Hijikata dodged those snowballs as he chased me. No matter, at least the first set of snowballs successfully landed on the previously unsuspecting target.

"Hijikata, you should have watched your back. That's one of the basic rules of fighting," I sneered as I continued to run away from the rampaging Hijikata.

Once the huge pile is flawlessly formed into a sphere, I assemble another lump of snow, quite smaller than the previous one and proceed with my recollection of that day.

As I attempted to escape the still snow-covered Hijikata, my tiny, childish feet accidentally tripped on a protruding piece of ice. Fortunately, my back landed on the soft, cold ground. I swept the snow with my small arms while moving my short legs apart and together. I stood up to gaze at my imprint in the snow.

"Heh, a sadist's snow angel," Hijikata jeered while brushing off specks of snow from his kimono.

"A what's snow angel?" At that time, I didn't know anything about sadists because of my age and the fact that I never heard the term used by anyone, including Ane-ue, who probably didn't want me to learn about the concept of sadists and masochists.

"A sadist is…" Hijikata hesitated in his explanation but he decided to proceed, "I guess it's best to give you the safe definition. A sadist is someone who derives pleasure from torturing others."

And that was the day I officially became a sadist.

As I begin constructing the smallest of the three snow spheres to complete my snowman, I suddenly hear faint crunches of snow. I tilt my head, hoping to find the source of the sounds. _Crunch. Crunch. Crunch_. My eyes squint towards the distance and they recognize something moving amidst my silent, snow-filled environs: a familiar figure with a dark mop of hair. Strange. I thought I was the only one here now. The figure rapidly approaches towards me. As the distance between me and the figure lessens, I recognize the Shinsengumi uniform and the scowling expression. It's Hijikata.

"Watch out, Hijikata-san," I casually warn the frowning vice commander after I throw a large snowball in his direction. But it doesn't hit the target. Too bad.

"There you are! What the hell have you been up to?" Hijikata scolds with frustration and anger discernible in his voice.

I want to say "Hijikata-san, don't yell so loud because your voice is irritating my mind" but I find myself too cold and exhausted to do so.

He notices the unfinished snowman behind me.

"Everyone at headquarters suggested that I look for you because you've been gone for hours and this little snow sprinkle might become hail. So what…"

I attempt to hear the rest of Hijikata's words, but I realize that it's futile to do so once vertigo overpowers me. My surroundings spin before me as I permit myself to collapse on the ground.

"Hijikata-san, would you like to make snow angels with me?" Incredulity immediately covers Hijikata's expression, but it is soon replaced by anxiety.

Hijikata seems to be frantically yelling at the top of his lungs as he yanks my collar, but his words are inaudible.

Once he realizes that I cannot hear him, he places one of his arms underneath my leg and encloses the other around my shoulders. He stands and lifts me up from the ground. I do not wish to be carried by Hijikata. I do not wish to appear vulnerable before him. I do not wish to feel so pathetic. But I am fighting a losing battle against fatigue.

For once, perhaps it won't be so terrible to surrender.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Ah, sorry it took so long to post this; I wanted to shape some of the words into a question mark and a heart. However, after I uploaded the document for this chapter, the shapes that I made weren't preserved. Sad, sad...I seriously wanted the last few lines of this chapter to be shaped into a heart.

To the anonymous reviewer of Chapter 9, Katsura:

Katsura, thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoyed the Hare Hare Yukai scene. Hehe, I really wish the Gintama characters would actually perform the Hare Hare Yukai dance in an episode.

To all the readers of Torture Days:

Belated Happy V-day everyone! Thank you for reading Chapter 10!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

One of the remedies for the common cold is chicken soup.

A cicada is crawling along my index finger, its well-veined wings brushing past the creases and its wide eyes darting from side to side. Its fellow insects are crying—no, wailing—as I walk under the cover of darkness, trailing along the unwary footsteps of the Shinsengumi vice commander. He stops abruptly and listens for any suspicious noise, but he hears none except for the loud _tzitzikas_ of the weeping cicadas.

He continues to walk, oblivious to the fact that he is secretly being followed. The cicada lifts its legs and jumps from my fingertips, silently gliding into the darkness. My hand tightly clutches a machete, its glade glinting under the moonlight. The cicadas' cries have become ominous laughter.

Hijikata glances behind his back, but he fails to spot me because I swiftly detour to the side and position myself in front of him.

"Found you, Hijikata-san," I menacingly tease as I feel my eyes' pupils narrow.

But before he attempts to reply, the blade of the machete sinks into the flesh of his back and droplets of his blood scatter on the ground. Hijikata veers from side to side before his legs finally crumples and a pool of blood surrounds him. The cicadas' laughter gradually subsides.

As Hijikata's bloody corpse disappears and the background whitens, I feel a soft tap on my shoulder causing me to turn around.

"Sou-chan, it's not nice to dream about your friends like that," Ane-ue remarks with a stern expression that immediately forces me to apologize.

"Sorry, Ane-ue, I was just kidding. That was just a fake corpse. I would never kill the actual Hijikata-san," I honestly explain as she pats my head.

"Of course, you would never kill Hijikata-san, Sou-chan, not after your newly discovered revelation." Ane-ue tightly and excitedly embraces me.

Great…even Ane-ue's out of character now. Eh, but more importantly, about that revelation…

"Ane-ue, what's supposed to be my revelation?"

"Sou-chan, you know about your revelation already. Are you afraid to accept it?"

Neither could I nod nor could I shake my head.

"Very well then, Sou-chan. Maybe I can help you accept it. Sou-chan, how do you see Hijikata-san now?"

I ponder for a minute, searching for the proper response, even though I feel as if I know the answer already. I…

"I no longer loath Hijikata-san's presence, Ane-ue." Why does this response seem so distant from the right answer? Perhaps it's because I actually l…love Hijikata's presence? No! That's impossible! I'm a sadist and Hijikata's an idiotic mayo-loving, chain-smoking freak!

Ane-ue sighs and withdraws her hand from my head. She eyes me, wearing a grave demeanor. Her strict sisterly mode is now activated.

"Sou-chan, whenever you're ready to fully accept your revelation, just remember that nothing will ever cause my happiness to deteriorate."

"Ane-ue…" I attempt to grasp her hand, but it seems that I cannot touch her. It's as if her hand has become a hologram.

"Sou-chan, this is the last time you'll see me in your dreams. I will be forced to leave you soon," she informs me, dysphoria lacing her voice.

She places her nearly transparent hand along my cheek, but her soft touch is not palpable. Her lower limbs are becoming transparent as well. I immediately clutch her kimono and rest my head against her shoulder. A stream of liquid flows down my cheeks and reaches my chin.

"Sou-chan, I'm alright now, don't refute your own happiness," She grazes my shivering neck with a sleeve of her kimono. She is slowly dissipating.

I gaze at Ane-ue's weary eyes. Even until the end, she remains gentle and light-hearted. I see her warm, comforting smile, which will surely be the last one that my eyes will witness, before all of her remaining traces vanish, never to emerge again.

"Ane-ue…"

A few droplets of water land on my palm with a plop. Did Kondo pour a bucket of water on my head again?

I close my eyes and reopen them.

Day 8- Shinsengumi Headquarters 7: 07 P.M.

I squint as a hanging lamp attempts to blind me with its bright rays of light. My head is throbbing with such immeasurable pain, and what's this on top of my forehead? I grope my forehead, inspecting for any foreign material. Huh? It's wet and fuzzy? I grasp the material and lift it with my thumb and index finger. A towel? All of a sudden, my nose feels itchy. I wish to scratch it to relieve the agitation, but before I can even do so…

I sneeze.

"You're awake?" I slowly lift my head to find Hijikata's eyes cautiously scanning me.

I nod in response after sneezing for the second time. Rather loudly, I must say.

Hijikata touches my forehead with his palm and quickly stands up.

"Stay here," he orders before he exits the room.

That demand is unnecessary because although I want to disobey him, my exhausted legs have been rendered me immobile.

Where am I anyway? Judging from the bottles of mayonnaise near one of the screen walls, I am definitely in Hijikata's room.

Hijikata returns with a thermometer in his hand and shoves the object into my mouth.

"Hijikata-san, where's Kondo-san?" I ask, clenching the thermometer between my teeth.

Normally Kondo would be panicking right now and attempting nurse me in a very gorilla-like fatherly way.

"He went off to buy some medicine."

Beep, beep, beep. The thermometer signals that it has recorded my temperature.

"Forty point three degrees Celsius," Hijikata states with a frown after he takes the thermometer.

"This is your fault, Hijikata-san," I remark, searching for a tissue to wipe my congested nose.

"Even when you're sick, you manage to be an idiot with no sense of propriety. How the hell is this my fault? I never told you to stay out in the stupid freezing weather for more than three hours!"

"Ah, but if Hijikata-san would've just let me find him, then I wouldn't have wasted my time looking for him outside in the cold, and I wouldn't have been forced to entertain myself by playing in the snow," I calmly defend, still looking for a box of tissues. "Hijikata-san, may I have some tissues?"

In an instant, Hijikata dashes out of the room and after a few seconds, returns with a box of tissues in his hands.

"Are those double-ply tissues?" I question, attempting to irritate Hijikata.

"Yes. Oi, your sadism still remains intact even when your temperature is high," he grumbles as I wipe my nose with one of the tissues.

Hijikata sits down on the wooden floor as he carefully observes me. Wait, Hijikata's eyes are no longer void, and he's wearing his usual scowling expression. Huh, then what was wrong with him the day before yesterday?

"Hijikata-san, what was wrong with you before?"

Hijikata's eyes darken as he diverts his stare from me and harshly murmurs, "It's nothing. You shouldn't be so concerned about it."

_Hijikata, what are you hiding?_

"But Hijikata-san—" A loud grumble interrupts my plans on prying into Hijikata's hidden dilemma. The source of the noise seems to have emanated from my stomach.

"I'll go get you some food," Hijikata announces after hearing my stomach's roar.

"Hijikata-san, nothing with mayonnaise," I quickly request, knowing Hijikata's taste in odd mayo-flavored cuisine.

Hijikata quietly grunts and mumbles something about people not appreciating the sweet tang of mayonnaise.

Wait. But before Hijikata exits the room, I should definitely aggravate him further.

"Hijikata-san, don't forget to wear a nurse's outfit before you come back, okay? It's going to help me feel better."

Of course, this request causes Hijikata to glare. He slides the screen door close, whispering "Idiot" in the process.

A few seconds later, the screen door is opened again, revealing a smiling Kondo holding large grocery bag with the Rofuto emblem.

"Kondo-san, why is the bag so huge?" I question with a bit of interest. "The entire bag isn't filled with medications, is it?

"Ah, no, Sougo. Here's your medicine." He hands me a bottle of cough medicine and lifts a box marked with the Shogunate's seal from the bag. "This is the newly released polygraph that the Shinsengumi will be using from now on."

"Kondo-san, how does that polygraph work?"

Kondo peels off the tapes from the box, removes the foam boards and the thick bubble-wraps, and extracts a black rectangular lie detector, which is approximately the size of a businessman's suitcase.

"You just have to push this button to turn on the polygraph." He presses a small red button on the polygraph. "Then, the polygraph will beep if it detects signs of lying such as any unusual change in breathing rate, an odd increase in heart rate, or excessive sweating."

"Kondo-san, may I borrow your polygraph? I would like to test it."

"Sure, Sougo! I was going to ask you and Hijikata to test it for me anyway," Kondo beams as he hands me the polygraph.

"Feel better, Sougo!" Kondo scurries out of the room, probably planning to visit Otae-san again now that he knows I'm not so ill anymore.

Just as Kondo leaves the room, Hijikata enters with a tray consisting of a steaming bowl and a glass of water. I place the polygraph beside me and sit up raising my hands up to receive the tray.

"What's that?" Hijikata curiously eyes the polygraph as he sets the tray on my lap.

"It's a polygraph. Kondo asked us to test it," I reply as I made a motion to clasp the lie detector. However, Hijikata bats my hand away.

"We're going to test it after you eat."

"Yes, father." This comment brings an annoyed anime-mark to Hijikata's cheek.

I gaze at the contents of the tray for who knows how much time.

No, there isn't a copious amount of mayonnaise on the bowl of soup. There isn't even a hint of Hijikata's trademark food. In fact, the soup has a delicious aroma, but I still can't find the appetite to take the spoon and sip the soup.

"Oi, Sougo, eat," Hijikata seems to be chiding me.

"Hijikata-san, it seems that I have lost my appetite because of this illness."

Hijikata ponders for a minute. He gazes at the untouched spoon beside the steaming bowl of soup. I close my eyes, about to release a quiet sigh, but I suddenly feel the taste of metal and soup along my tongue.

Hijikata's stern yet apprehensive eyes are fixed upon my own.

"If you can't eat, then at least let me make you eat, so that…" Hijikata averts his gaze, uncertain of how to finish his sentence.

"So that you won't have to commit seppuku for feeling so useless?" I complete Hijikata's sentence to lessen his uneasiness. "Ah, then I would prefer it if you didn't force me to eat!"

I snatch Hijikata's hand that still held the spoon and position his hand near the soup so that the spoon would dip out some of its contents. Of course, Hijikata is too astonished to question my contradictory actions.

But Hijikata soon retracts my grip on his hand and forces me to sip the soup from the spoon. Oddly enough, I can no longer taste the metal from the spoon; instead, the savory flavor of chicken is tickling my tongue.

"Hijikata-san, chicken soup?" He nods, submerging the spoon in the bowl and holding it up to my mouth.

"For my soul or yours? I think you need it more since you're the Shinsengumi's demon," I comment before I sip the soup and quietly add, "I hope a chicken takes your soul Hijikata-san."

"No, that soup is essential for your health," Hijikata states as he inserts another spoonful of the soup into my mouth. Then he retorts in a low voice, "The chicken will most likely take your sadistic soul first."

"Ah, but Hijikata-san, did you know that eighty per cent of the chickens prefer demonic souls to sadistic ones?" I tease as I swallow two more spoons of the soup. "They especially love mayo-flavored demonic souls."

Hijikata shakes his head and snaps, "Stop chattering, you brat, and just eat the damn soup!"

He shoves another spoon of the soup into my mouth.

Fifteen minutes later…

"Finally, you're finished eating!" Hijikata exclaims with relief as I gulp the last spoonful of soup, licking the corners of my lips to wipe away the residue.

"Ah, you won't clean that up. That's what tissues are for, idiot." Hijikata seizes a tissue and rub the remains of the soup from my mouth. Huh? Is Hijikata blushing? I blink my eyes a few times. Ah, I must be imagining things because of this cold. Hijikata's cheeks are of their normal color.

"Hijikata-san, can we test the polygraph now?" I suggest with a hopeful tone.

"Eh? What's with you? I've never seen you this eager," he notes as he stands up to leave the room with the used tray.

A few seconds later he re-emerges and suspiciously asks, "You're plotting something again, aren't you?"

I open my mouth to reply but Hijikata cuts me off, "Wait. Don't answer that. You're always scheming anyway. So how did you want to test it?"

"I was hoping to play a game with you using this," I reply, pushing the red button on the polygraph.

"A game?"

**Author's notes:**

Katsura, here's my thank you to you since I can't e-mail it to you. Thank you for reviewing, and I'm happy that you loved the part where Hijikata carried Sougo, hehe. (You had a nosebleed?)

To all the readers:

Yay! This chapter's done! Next up is the game! Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

An efficient polygraph will reveal even a sadist's lies.

"A game?" Hijikata furrows his eyebrows in inquisition.

"Yes, a game, Hijikata-san." I nod with a grin, waving the lie detector in front of Hijikata's eyes. "You're going to enjoy this game, Hijikata-san. All we have to do is ask each other ten questions. The polygraph will beep if it detects any signs of lying."

"And if I refuse?"

"Ah, then we won't get to test the polygraph because it seems that you're going to break it, Hijikata-san." My hands tightly grasp the instrument and prepare to snap it.

Hijikata's eyes widen with alarm. "No, no, I'm not going to break it. I'll agree to play the game with you." He silently frowns in frustration. "Just let me ask you your set of questions first."

Are you afraid to answer your ten questions, Hijikata?

"Ah, I was hoping to ask you yours first, Hijikata-san. But I guess it doesn't matter since you're going to end up answering them anyhow."

Hijikata lowers his head with the usual annoyed symbol implanted on his cheek.

"Let's just get this over with," he growls as his hair shades his eyes for an instant. "I guess I should first alternate between questions that I know you'd lie to and ones that you won't."

Just state your question, Hijikata. The point of this game is to figure out what you're hiding anyway.

"Have you ever worn ladies' underwear?"

What kind of question is that, Hijikata? Are you attempting to embarrass me? Well, too bad, Hijikata. Your efforts are futile.

"No, Hijikata-san." I force a glare toward the offender. Once I kill you and assume your position, the remains of your hideous self will be never be found.

"Don't give me that look. That's the question that I know you will never respond with a lie." He gives a sigh of irritation. "Now just answer with a lie to this question."

I wait for his next insulting inquiry.

"Are you a sadist?"

"No." _Beep._

"Is it true that according to Wikipedia, Sorachi originally designed you as a female character with an umbrella?"

I grit my teeth and mustering all of my efforts to maintain a calm demeanor, I murmur, "Yes."

Hijikata sneers and taunts, "Ah, so that's why Sou-chan looks so feminine."

Our platforms are raised, and their heights almost match those of the towering edifices that surround us. Hijikata, I will not lose this battle. May the more competent man prevail.

Hijikata's ridiculous laughter finally ceases. He pauses, seeming to contemplate upon a recondite matter.

What could Hijikata be possibly pondering about?

"Sougo, I know this question might seem too forward," he finally blurts out, "but why did you join his side at that time?"

By "his," Hijikata must be referring to Itou.

"Hijikata-san, do you not recall the train scene in which I said I wanted be Vice Commander?"

Wait, is that what was troubling Hijikata? Is he bothered by that incident? There is a seventy per cent probability that Hijikata feels betrayed and at least eighty per cent that the Itou arc is vexing his mind.

"But, Hijikata-san, I'm always trying to take your position."

Why would you be bothered by that? It's a routine; surely you had expected such a treacherous action from me.

"Yes, that's true. And you consider me your friend? If I recall, that's what you said in the eighth chapter."

"Yes, Hijikata-san. That's what I said in that chapter." The polygraph remains silent.

Hijikata's eyes darts toward the matted floor. Huh? Sixty per cent that Hijikata is confused whether to regard me as a friend or an adversary.

"Hijikata-san—"

"Did you really want Yamazaki to be your…" He decides to fix his gaze on the bottles of mayonnaise gathered on one of the room's corners.

That was unexpected. Hijikata seems to be searching for a missing answer. Why are you asking such a petty question?

"My lover? No, Hijikata-san."

There's no choice but to tell him the truth because this machine will reveal my lies anyway.

Hijikata gives me a startled expression. He lays his eyes on the polygraph, as if he's anticipating a noise, but there's nothing except silence in the room.

"So you lied?" The stunned Hijikata narrows his eyes.

"Yes."

"So I guess there's no proof that the King from Planet Sadist has a heart?"

"That's right, Hijikata-san, there's no proof at all." _Beep. _

Ah, but there is proof, Sougo. _Look…_

Hijikata is wearing an unreadable expression. I cannot understand his demeanor because he's hiding his eyes from my view, and he is neither frowning nor grinning.

There isn't any proof. The beeping of this polygraph, as well as this cold, must be causing me to conceive delusions. My eyes trail over the lie detector. Moreover, why did this thing even beep? I didn't lie, did I?

"So you wouldn't resist assassinating a friend, you cold-blooded sadist?" Hijikata states the question with anger and resentment permeating his voice.

"I will only assassinate you in particular, Hijikata-san." _Beep._

"Would you really have no qualms about murdering me?"

"None whatsoever," I assure him in a nonchalant tone. I'm not lying, am I? _Beep._

But I've always thought of slaughtering Hijikata, so I can't possibly be lying!

Quick, Sougo! Concoct a lie immediately!

"What the hell? You've just lied to all of those questions! You—"

I press the red button on the lie detector to turn it off and interrupt him, "Hijikata-san, my mental image of you being blasted away into tiny particles must have excited me, causing my heart rate to increase. The polygraph must have detected the increase in my heart rate and beeped."

Hijikata seems to be utterly confused. He opens his mouth to speak, but all that is produced is incoherent babble.

"But the beeps…and the questions…you murder…what are you…."

"Hijikata-san needs to regain his articulation. How about we start with your questions now, Hijikata-san?"

"Fine, but we'll discuss this unsolved matter later."

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Katsura, thank you for reviewing. Haha, it's funny that you screamed when you read the Hijikata-feeding-Sougo scene. Ah, sorry, Katsura, but I have to use the evil cliffhangers in the next few chapters.

To all the readers:

Hijikata's questions for Sougo are done. Next up: Sougo gets revenge!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

One shouldn't bother to attempt to defeat a polygraph because it's often futile to do so.

"Fine, but we'll discuss this unsolved matter later."

Hijikata clears his throat before he heaves a huge sigh.

"Alright then, Hijikata-san." No, it's not alright. I don't even completely understand why the machine beeped. However, this is not the time to mull over that issue because I still have to unveil Hijikata's secret. But first, it won't hurt to taste a bit of vengeance, right?

"Hijikata-san, have _you_ ever worn a lady's underwear?"

"Yes." No beeps. That's right, Hijikata; don't lie.

"Did you wear it when you were cursed by the hikikomori's spirit?"

"Yes." Hijikata fiddles with his fingers, most likely resisting the urge to strangle me.

"Was the otaku heavily obsessed with clothes that were replicas of his female idol?" I already know the answer to this question because I've seen the boxes of cosplay clothes.

"Yes." To my satisfaction, an embarrassed Hijikata starts to vigorously rub his hands.

"Did the otaku once try to wear an underwear with a picture of a smiling Sailor Moon?"

"Yes," Hijikata hisses.

"Did the otaku try to wear a thong with a picture of a smiling Sailor Moon?"

"Yes, and how the hell did you know about that?" he snaps.

"I've seen packets of Sailor Moon outfits in this room when you were cursed by that sword."

Sweet Vengeance.

But unfortunately, I can't waste any more questions, so I'll have to cease avenging myself.

Hijikata, it's time to reveal your secret.

"Hijikata-san, are you hiding something?"

He doesn't reply. Hijikata stares at his fingers, refusing to make any eye contact.

"Hijikata-san, it's pointless to avoid the question. Besides, you wouldn't want the polygraph to break."

"I don't care."

Hijikata, I won't let you win so easily. I bring my thumb closer to my lips, softly biting its edge as I search for an efficacious threat.

"Why the hell are you doing that?" A jolted Hijikata points to my thumb with eyes the size of saucers.

"It might help me increase my reasoning ability by forty percent."

Hijikata scoffs with a grunt. "That's if you crouch while you're sitting, not if you bite your thumb." He shakes his head, probably realizing that he had just spoken like an anime fanatic. "Whatever, just ask another question."

No, Hijikata, you will reveal your secret.

"Hijikata-san, if you don't answer, then you will mysteriously lose all your stashes of mayonnaise, and you will be brutal pain for inexplicable reasons for at least two months."

By inexplicable pain, I mean using the voodoo doll, Hijikata.

"Alright," He grumbles in defeat. "The answer to your question is yes."

The polygraph doesn't beep. I've cornered you, Hijikata.

"Does it concern me?"

"No." _Beep._

"It's useless to lie, Hijikata-san. As you can see, the polygraph has told me that your 'no' is actually a yes."

Will you fall from your raised platform, Hijikata?

Now, to pinpoint your secret…

"Hijikata-san, the reason that you were behaving so strangely during the days prior to the end of the chaining period is because you were infatuated with me, right?"

Hijikata looks mortified as he continuously blinks and opens his mouth a few times, hoping to find a solution to his current dilemma. However, he finds none, so he resigns.

"You're right, Sougo."

_Check._

That was definitely the reason why Hijikata was flustered before. He was indeed infatuated with me. Now, for the issue at hand. What was the reason behind the drastic change in Hijikata's behavior before the chaining period ended?

"Hijikata-san, what you're hiding…is it connected to your former infatuation with me?"

Hijikata gives me a questioning gaze as he scratches his neck.

"Yes."

This doesn't make sense. The reason behind Hijikata's void expression on the last day of the chaining period is somehow correlated to his infatuation, which was formed a few days before that? Wait, surely his infatuation has completely dissipated. After all, he himself requested the removal of the chain. Now, if a person were infatuated with his or her chain partner, then said person would have attempted to prolong the chaining period. But Hijikata actually asked for Kondo's permission to end the chaining period, so at that time, his infatuation must have been completely erased. Still…it's suspicious. His infatuation promptly ended right after that incident with the thunder, and his void expression emerged. The radical change in Hijikata's behavior was caused by me, so it must have been something I'd done during or after the thunder incident.

It's definitely not the voodoo doll incident, since Hijikata's emotionless behavior did not occur exactly after I tortured him with it.

"_I'm glad to have a friend like Hijikata-san."_

That! That must have been the trigger behind Hijikata's abrupt change. His void expression emerged the next morning. But how is it connected? _A friend…_

Hijikata must have been convinced that I merely regarded him as a friend, which must have disappointed him, so perhaps that's why his behavior was unexpectedly altered. If that's the reason…has Hijikata's infatuation been completely expunged? Or is he only pretending to behave normally?

"Hijikata-san, you are no longer infatuated with me, correct?" _Verification_.

Hijikata doesn't answer; instead, he opts to obstinately fix his eye on his fingers.

"Don't forget about those two months of pain and the loss of your mayonnaise stash, Hijikata-san."

A shadow covers Hijikata's eyes for a split second before he finally explodes._ Checkmate. _

"Yes! Alright, you've got your answer now!" Hijikata bellows in an indescribable tone. Is he furious, despondent, anxious, or all of these? I cannot tell.

"Hijikata-san—"

"Bastard, I never expected you to resort to mental torture. I should have known." Hijikata shakes his head as he stands up. Insensate with rage, he leaves the room and slides the screen door close with a slam.

Hijikata seems to have forgotten about the beeps earlier. Good, even I do not know how to explain those beeps.

But only a few seconds pass before a more composed Hijikata returns.

He sits on the floor near the edge of the futon and grumbles, "Don't think I've forgotten about those lies."

"Hijikata-san, I honestly don't understand why the polygraph beeped." Believe me; I've always wanted to murder you, usually for the sole reason that you piss me off.

"I see," he states before he sighs. "There has to be a reason that that thing beeped."

He stands and walks to the screen door again.

"Hijikata-san, where are you going?" I ask curiously.

"To find the reason," he replies before he exits the room and carefully closes the screen door.

_Where is it?

* * *

_

Author's notes

Katsura, thank you for reviewing. Haha, the beeps are evil and good at the same time! I hope that I did not completely disappoint you with what I picked for Sougo's questions.

To all the readers:

Does anyone else smell Death Note in this chapter?

On a very happy note, I guess this story is almost over. Only two more chapters are left, and then, hmm…what to do, what to do... I think I'll rewrite this story after it's finished and base it on Hijikata's perspective since I don't think I've shown his side enough. Ah, everyone please vote on the poll in my profile if you can and if you don't really mind. I need to know how most people prefer to spell Hijikata's first name.

Thank you for reading Chapter 13! Ah, the number 13...eh....hmm...let's just ignore that number.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Even your adversaries can become precious.

_Where is the reason?_

Maybe I can find the reason ….

"_Would you really have no qualms about murdering me?"_

"_None whatsoever." Beep._

I've always wanted to kill Hijikata; he doesn't deserve the position of vice commander.

While Ane-ue was still here, I hated him because he stole everything that was precious to me when I was a kid…

_Kondo-san laughed as he conversed with Hijikata and patted the latter's back. Hijikata gave a low grunt, hiding his amusement with his usual façade. He didn't even laugh with Kondo-san, which is why I wanted to grab his ponytail and rip his hair out of his thick scalp. However, I couldn't do that because I was only a kid. I was a weakling compared to Hijikata. _

I hated that disadvantage.

I hated you, Hijikata…

_I didn't want to go to the dojo a few days after he came. I hated the fact that everyone seemed to instantly befriend him. I admit that I was jealous; I never had any friends because of my deportment. _

_But Hijikata…he instantaneously received so much attention and everyone regarded him as a friend right away, including Kondo-san, who seemed to favor me less after his arrival. He wasn't even that amiable. In fact, his frown and narrowed eyes caused me to declare him the epitome of hostility when Kondo-san first introduced him to me._

_Ane-ue wanted me to stand up and head for the dojo. I didn't want to do that because I would see Kondo-san laughing and patting Hijikata's back again._

"_Sou-chan, it's time for training," she reminded me, but when I refused to budge, she realized that something was vexing me. "What's wrong? You usually get up in the morning and run to the dojo."_

"_There's an annoying guy in there."_

"_Is that the man who recently came?"_

"_Ever since that guy came, Kondo-san stopped paying attention to me. I hate him. I'm never going back to the dojo anymore."_

"_Sou-chan…"Ane-ue rested her hand on my arm, trying to console me._

"_Okita-senpai, it's time for training." Hijikata loudly stated. I was infuriated. I couldn't believe that even in my own home, Hijikata would continue to grace me with his idiotic, arrogant presence!_

_Hijikata clutched the back of my kimono and dragged me to the dojo. As I struggled to escape from his grip, I saw something that caused me to hate him even more…_

_Ane-ue's laugh._

Then after that, he continued to piss me off by taking Ane-ue's attention from me…

_Ane-ue laughed as she sprinkled more red spice in her food. He soaked his bowl of ramen with mayonnaise until it wasn't even ramen with mayonnaise anymore; instead it was mayonnaise with ramen._

_Ane-ue softly giggled at his oddity. Once again, Hijikata pissed me off._

"_Hijikata-san, you are no longer infatuated with me, correct?" _

"_Yes! Alright, you've got your answer now!" _

I don't understand why he was so furious. By answering yes, Hijikata has told me that he wasn't infatuated with me anymore, which means that there is no longer a problem. However, he shouted his answer with such intense ferocity, which indicates that he is still dealing with a conflict.

I don't understand you at all, Hijikata.

_Something other than infatuation..._is bothering Hijikata.

_Something more than infatuation?_

No, no that's not possible at all.

Still…what I've felt before…the hate…

"_Look. Just pretend that thunder is just one of those war weapons that go 'Boom!' I think those were called bazookas. They're really great long-range weapons, and they produce the same sound as thunder. You can pretend that you're using a bazooka when you hear thunder."_

…

"_Sougo, just pretend that you're about to launch that bazooka at me."_

Thank you, Hijikata.

"_If you can't eat, then at least let me make you eat, so that…"_

"_So that you won't have to commit seppuku for feeling so useless?"_

Thank you, Hijikata.

When the chaining period ended, something was lost, missing, or lacking. It was awfully silent. Something was amiss.

Something has been altered.

What I've felt before…the hate…

…is definitely different from my current emotions.

"_So I guess there's no proof that the King from Planet Sadist has a heart?"_

"_That's right, Hijikata-san, there's no proof at all." Beep. _

Hijikata's wrong. These emotions prove that I have a heart.

"_Yes! Alright, you've got your answer now!" _

_Something other than infatuation..._

_Something more than infatuation?_

What Hijikata's feeling right now…it's not just some petty infatuation.

"_So you wouldn't resist assassinating a friend, you cold-blooded sadist?"_

"_I will only assassinate you in particular, Hijikata-san." __Beep._

I lied.

These emotions are perhaps the same as Hijikata's.

I refuse to protest against this revelation.

_Realization._

_

* * *

  
_

**Author's notes:**

Katsura, thank you for reviewing. I'm glad that you were happy to read the previous chapter after working for whoa…15 hours! Uh-oh, T_T? Aww, Katsura, please don't be too sad.

To all the readers:

Yes, yes, this chapter is probably the worst one in this story, but I think it's really necessary to include Sougo's reflection before the conclusion. Ah, so…only one more chapter left. If you're still reading this story, haha, I don't even know what I should say anymore. Saying one thank you is simply not enough; instead, you deserve a million thank you's! So here are a million thank you's!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Nothing brings people together like a pair of handcuffs.

Day 9- Shinsengumi Headquarters 7:01 A.M.

A faint light infiltrates through the screen walls of Hijikata's room. It's morning already? I rapidly scan the room. Bottles of mayonnaise in one corner. More bottles of mayonnaise in another corner. No signs of Hijikata.

"_Hijikata-san, where are you going?" _

"_To find the reason." _

I've already found the reason, Hijikata.

I stand up, peeling off Hijikata's blanket and promptly walking towards the screen door. Good, the vertigo due to the cold has lessened.

Now where's the damn mayonnaise idiot?

7:02 A.M. Kondo's Room

"Kondo-san, have you seen Hijikata-san?" Kondo is lying on the matted floor, yawning and obviously still heavily induced with sleepiness.

"Toushi…went out…" Kondo quietly whispers before he emits a gorilla-like snore. "Otae-san, we shouldn't do that." He pauses and smiles. "No…never mind, we should."

I shake my head. Poor Kondo-san, only in his dreams.

I spot something familiar glinting on Kondo-san's table. Are those the handcuffs that were used in this story? Yes, yes they are, and that's the key.

"Kondo-san, I'll be borrowing these handcuffs, okay?" I snatch the handcuffs from the table and stuff the key into my pocket.

"Okay, Sougo…have fun," a still mostly asleep Kondo replies and murmurs, "The chain, Otae-san, the chain."

"See you later, Kondo-san," I state before leaving his room, clutching the chain of the handcuffs.

8:32 A.M. Kabuki District

"Oi, Soichiro-kun, what are you running for? You aren't running away from a taiyaki seller, are you?" Boss is gripping the handlebars of his motor scooter. His fellow Yorozuyas are accompanying him.

Behind Boss, a frustrated Shinpachi quietly mutters, "Uguu."

"No, Boss. Why?"

A taiyaki seller?

Shinpachi presses his glasses to the bridge of his nose. "A taiyaki seller accidentally scared his customer away, and the customer never paid. Now, we have to look for the customer."

"Gin-san, he's the customer! Look! He fits the description. Big eyes, shiny bangs, and brown hair!" China excitedly exclaims as she points to me.

Big eyes, shiny bangs? I'm not a moe character, am I?

"But the old man also said that the little girl was wearing a duffle coat and was carrying a backpack with wings." Boss rubs his chin.

"And Okita-san is not a little girl," Shinpachi adds.

"Uguu," a disappointed Kagura grumbles.

"Well, see you, Soichiro-kun." Boss slowly treks through the snow with his motor scooter.

The Yorozuya trio continues their mission to find the missing taiyaki customer. I should continue my mission to find the missing Hijikata.

Just a few more steps. I'll find him eventually. I quietly stomp through the snow once more.

"If you're looking for him, he might be near Rofuto."

A pause.

Boss scratches the scalp beneath his bushy hair as if he had never spoken at all. Shinpachi stares at me and points to his left, directing my eyes towards Katsura and Elizabeth, who were holding signs that read "Just go already!" in huge font.

I kick a bit of the snow and start running towards the right route, to Rofuto, to Hijikata-san.

"Run, Forest, run!" Kagura enthusiastically shouts.

9:32 A.M.- Outside Rofuto

"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san," I cup my fingers together and monotonously call said person's name.

Unfortunately, Hijikata is nowhere to be seen. No one is even around. The store is closed, not a movement or a sound anywhere. He must have left already.

The only thing in front of me is that stupid, gigantic snowman.

Something cold lands on my skin. It's something delightful, familiar, nostalgic…

Another one causes the same tingling ambiance.

And another one…

And another one…

What is causing this sensation? I gaze upon my hand. Small white dusts sink into my palm and vanish…snowflakes. _Look at the smile up there, in the sky._ What a silly thought.

When I gaze upon the sky, a barrage of snowflakes touches my nose. Maybe it's not silly at all.

"Damn that Sougo, he always liked the snow."

Huh? I look around searching for the source of the voice. No one, no one is around except for the grinning snowman. Wait, that snowman seems identical to the one I was making the day before yesterday, but this one is finished. It has a head, two button eyes, another button for a nose, a mouth composed of more buttons, and a pocky stick that makes the snowman seem like it's smoking a cigarette.

"Snowman-san?" I walk towards the cigarette-smoking snowman and peek beyond its head. Behind the huge figure of ice is Hijikata, sitting adjacent to the snowman's enormous bottom sphere. "Hijikata-san?"

"Damn it, I keep hearing him everywhere!" He grunts as he stands up and agitatedly brushes the snow from his uniform.

I carefully step past the snowman and tap him on the shoulder. "Hijikata-san."

_Crunch._

After he takes one step forward, Hijikata cautiously tilts his head, and surprise instantly pervades his mien once he notices my presence.

"What do you want now?" Hijikata questions with an accusatory tone. "If you're planning to torture me more, I know it won't work. I've checked the voodoo doll. It's not under the voodoo spell anymore."

"So Hijikata-san has realized that I've tricked him into revealing his secret?" Poor Hijikata. The voodoo spell on that doll was only set to last for thirteen hours. I shake my head. "But that's not what I came here for."

"What then? If you're threatening to take my mayonnaise stash, you can have it. I'll survive…probably." Hijikata huffs a puff of fog.

"Hijikata-san, that's not it either."

"Then what the hell did you come here for?" Hijikata narrows his eyes, anticipating some kind of assault or threat.

"Hijikata-san, I've found the reason."

"Wh—"

Before Hijikata can even finish his retort, I press my index finger to his lips. "Shh, Hijikata-san." I carefully trail the finger down his chin, ensuring silence. I swiftly attach the handcuffs to our wrists before Hijikata wrenches his hand away.

_Kiss._

This taste. This sensation is simply pleasant yet maddening—no it's not. It's nothing less than euphoric.

The tactile touch of a rough hand traces my cheek and wanders around my neck. He presses deeper. It's not merely passionate. The boom of bazookas isn't even parallel to this. I've been rendered insane. Defying description, feeling, this is.

_Breathless._

"Hijikata-san tastes like mayonnaise." But I'm not complaining.

"You like it." He smirks.

I offer a genuine smile in response, which produces an upward tug on the corners of Hijikata's lips.

Hijikata dangles the handcuffs' chain and awkwardly mutters, "This isn't necessary."

I nod in agreement as I pull the key out of my pocket and unlock the handcuffs.

"Come on, let's go back." He shoves his hands into his pockets and begins to trudge through the snow. "Your cold might get worse."

I give one of his uniform's sleeves a yank, urging him to pull out his hand. Hijikata grips my wrist, slides his palm, and coils his fingers.

You're right, Hijikata-san. This chain isn't necessary.

Day 10-Shinsengumi Headquarters- 7:04 A.M.

"Achoo!" Hijikata's sneeze has probably caused an avalanche somewhere in Antarctica, initiated the explosion of an Amanto's ship, or perhaps caused a Shinigami to die of a heart attack.

I hand him a tissue, which he hastily uses to wipe his nose. "Damn it, Sougo. Don't tell me you planned this."

"Just as planned, Hijikata-san."

If we both have a cold, then both of us have the day off.

"For once, I have to admit that I like your plan."

_The End_

**Author's notes:**

Katsura, thanks for reviewing Chapter 14, and I'm really happy that you like the flashbacks and the "more than infatuation" line. Ah, I really hope this ending is not too disappointing.

To all the readers:

I have a quick comment regarding the ending. I originally did not want to include the tenth day; instead, I wanted to stop right on "This chain isn't necessary," but I just really wanted to include another Death Note line. Haha, I really hope you don't mind.

Oh, and the part with the taiyaki seller is a joke that parodies Kanon. Remember Ayu Tsukimiya from the anime Kanon? Ah, if you're unfamiliar with Ayu and Kanon, umm…what to do, what to do…I guess there's no need to be worried since it's only a minor joke. It doesn't affect the story at all.

Oh, and during the kiss, there's one sentence I deliberately messed up to portray Okita's confusion and loss of rationality.

Well, Torture Days is finished! This story was published right on January 1 this year, so it has been 80 days since Chapter 1. I really thank you for sticking with this story until the end. Thank you!

Edit 3-24-09: I have made a couple of changes to this chapter since the original one didn't seem too satisfying.

Edit 4-16-09: Katsura, thanks for reviewing the last chapter. I'm glad you love the ending, hehe. Ahaha, I'm also so happy that you like that particular line! Ah, why are you thanking me? Haha, you're welcome. But I should be thanking you, so thank you so much for reading this story until the end.


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